Gratitude

A little more than four years ago, I came close to ending my life.

I chose the place, ahead of time: took a photo from where it was going to happen. I even wrote a short, somewhat dark blog post and shared the photo but did not state my intentions. I wasn't looking for someone to figure it out and try to intervene.

I didn't want intervention: I wanted to simply check out.

This time, next year, I told myself. If I still feel this way, I'm going to jump off the Macdonald-Cartier Bridge on an ice cold winter's day. The solid ice will guarantee that I don't survive.

I used to live with incredible pain in my left foot. I've written about it enough times in The Brown Knowser that regular readers will know about my ordeal. I had the same issues with my right foot and had corrective surgery for the disease that had afflicted both feet, but I also dealt with acute arthritis.

My left foot was getting worse, and I was seeing a specialist about the corrective surgery, but I also had arthritis in this foot, and I was wondering how I'd fare with two arthritic feet as I grew older.

Living in constant pain can drive you to considering an exit from life.

When I finally saw a surgeon, Dr. Brad Meulenkamp, he looked at the three-dimensional images of my bones and the arthritic inflammation of my joints.

"I can certainly correct the Kohler's Disease in your foot," he told me, "but has no one ever treated you for your arthritis?"

"It can be treated?" I replied.

"Ross, I think I can get rid of all of your pain."

I cried.

Not just because Dr. Meulenkamp could get rid of my pain but because he had literally saved my life.

Nearly four years after my reconstructive foot surgery, where my Kohler's Disease was treated and all my arthritic joints have been removed, the only pain I get in my left foot is from over-exertion, which would afflict anyone.

Nearly four years later, I have been able to walk incredible distances and climb steep hills, where it wouldn't have been possible previously.

In Porto, DW and I walked more than 19 kilometres each day that we were in this beautiful Portuguese city. The very next day, when we took a train to the Douro Valley and visited a couple of quintas, we climbed up and around a steep hill in Pinhão, covering nearly 22 kms.

It was actually DW who ran out of steam throughout our trek and had to stop and rest. When we finally returned to Porto, late that evening, her ankles were swollen and throbbing, while my feet were simply tired.

On day five of our vacation, I have personally accumulated 84.6 kms, all on foot. Four years ago, that wouldn't have been possible.

And if Dr. Meulenkamp's office hadn't called me when it did, everything from February, 2019, would not have happened at all.

I am grateful for the new lease on life that had been afforded me. It has allowed me to enjoy this wonderful vacation.

And so much more.

(I'll have a lighter post, tomorrow.)