Hey you, yeah you. The guy who washed a Mars bar down with a Dr. Pepper yesterday.
Is that how you want to prepare for a day-long ride to Kingston?
Yeah, you and the Rideau Lakes Cycle Tour have some unfinished business. Do you remember last year that you had this lofty goal of riding your bike for 175 kilometres from Ottawa to Kingston. It was a tough slog, taking you seven and a half hours. You thought you were hot stuff because you figured that it would take you eight hours.
And you said you were going to train, but you didn't really, did you? I mean, you cycled a couple of times a week, 20 kilometres to work, a 30-kilometre return trip. On weekends, you rode a 50-kilometre circuit. Once, you tried to complete a 100K route, but your bike suffered a flat tire at the 84-kilometre mark.
Close, but no cigar.
So, you say you trained, but you didn't really. For almost three weeks before the tour, after you had your flat, you did nothing. You didn't fix the flat and didn't ride. You barely exercised.
It's a wonder you made it to Kingston at all, let alone under your time estimate.
And how did the return journey go? Oh yeah, it didn't happen.
Yes, you and the Rideau Lakes Cycle Tour have some unfinished business, so listen up. You know that weekly spin class you've been doing since January? Pump it up: go at least twice a week.
Swim, at least once a week. What do you do after work on Tuesdays, anyway? Sit in a pub? Work out first. I want to see you swim at least 500 to 1,000 meters a session.
I know you don't run, won't even do it to catch a bus. But go for a rigorous walk a couple of nights a week, after dinner. Or go while your kids are in dance, instead of dropping them at the class, driving home, watching TV, and driving back to collect them. Work up a sweat.
'Cos I see you every day, and you're in worse shape than you were at this time last year. You're getting older and it's going to get harder. You'll be 49 when the tour comes around and I want you to leave this decade looking and feeling good.
So I hope you enjoyed that chocolate bar and soda yesterday, because it's your last one for a while. On the ride to Kingston, you can load up on sugar all you want: you'll burn it up en route. But until then, you're getting yourself in shape.
And, while we're at it, when are you going to do something about your hair?