Photo Funk

This pandemic has certainly got the better of me.

Even though I received my first vaccine more than four weeks ago, I have no interest in getting out there, no interest in being near people, even though I still wear a mask and practice social distancing (three metres or more is my comfort zone). I hate going to grocery stores and shopping at my local Farm Boy stresses me to near tears.

I do go outside for walks in my neighbourhood or down the street to retrieve mail. And I have been on my road bike, cycling the rural roads to the southwest of my community.

But that's basically it.

One of my all-time favourite hobbies, my photography, has all but dried up. I can't remember the last time I picked up one of my D-SLRs: my Nikon D7200 has my super-wide-angle lens on it, from when I wanted to take photos downtown, but never went. That was a couple of weeks ago. My D750 has a layer of dust on it (I really should put it in my camera bag).

I've wanted to head out, early in the morning, to catch sunrise. But these days, I find it hard to drag myself out of bed to get ready for work (my office is in my basement and doesn't even require me to get out of my pajamas). I've wanted to head out, late in the day, to photograph sunset.

I've lost the will to leave the house.

I see the wonderful photos that my social-media friends share on Twitter and Instagram, and I think that I should go to Dow's Lake, to capture the blossoming tulips, or to Parliament Hill, to close up on the Peace Tower at sunset, or to Hog's Back, to take a long exposure of the falls.

My thoughts are just that: thoughts. I imagine myself throwing my gear into the car and hitting the road. But when the time comes, when I look outside and think that it's a great time for photography, I sigh and sit down in front of the television.

Instead of capturing new content, I've gone to the past and some of my earliest days of photography. I look at a photo in one of the dozens of albums in the house or to the boxes of slides, images that go back 20 or 30 years, or more, and think of how I can improve the look with the modern software that I have.

Look at the Brown Knowser posts from the past month: how many use photos that were shot this year?

Three.

How many were shot with a D-SLR? None.

In fact, two of my posts in the past two weeks include shots with my smartphone and were taken at a time when I had no intention of taking photos on my errands. In one post, I was driving home from Manotick, taking a road that I don't usually drive but wanted to check the condition of the shoulders, scoping whether they were safe for cycling. As I drove, I saw storm clouds approaching and the lighting was incredible. I pulled over, used my Android device, and continued on my way.

A week earlier, I drove to the metropolitan Toronto area to pick up my daughter, who had just finished up her school year. Because I got her pickup time wrong and because I had more than an hour to kill, I drove down to Lake Ontario to get some fresh air, hopefully keeping away from strangers. I had no intention of taking photos but when I saw the view, I was glad to have my smartphone.

When my somewhat aloof cat jumped onto my lap, purring, I had to capture this rare display of affection. Again, my phone was inches away.

But that's it. If I go back further into my blog, I can see that I have bird photos in a mid-March post and a related photo in another post at the end of March. All of these photos were captured on March 14.

Nearly two months ago. That was the last time that I used one of my D-SLRs. Now, I remember.

Clearly, I'm in a funk.

I don't know what to do to shake it. I don't know what will inspire me to pick up my cameras and head out. If pictures by Agnes or Ottawa Photo don't kick me in the pants, what will?

God, I hate this pandemic.