It's Only One Christmas

I can't help but think of the countless people who, last Christmas, gathered with their families and loved ones and thought, "I love this special time. I look forward to many more."

And then they caught COVID-19, and died, not realizing that last Christmas truly was their last.

My barber, during my last visit, asked me what my plans are for the upcoming holiday. This, after I apologized for the mask that I was wearing. It was a reusable mask but didn't fit me as snugly as I'd like, but it was the only mask I had in my jacket pocket, as I headed out for my haircut.The mask, made by a local person, leaves a bit of a gap at the top. And, as I sat in the barber chair, it began to slip down my face. When my barber moved it to trim around my ears, the mask slipped off my nose. I apologized for not having a better mask, for exposing him to risk (albeit, low, as I pretty much keep to home).

So, as he was finishing up, he asked me what my plans were for Christmas. My answer came swiftly: no plans beyond having some time with my wife and daughters. We would try, over the two and a half weeks that I have off, to contact friends and extended family through video conferencing, as we have done since March. Under no circumstances would we attend others' homes, nor would we have guests over to our house.

"My wife wants the whole family over for Christmas dinner," he said.

"No," I said.

"Being Italian, this is a big deal for us."

"No," I repeated.

"She can't imagine a Christmas without our parents and siblings."

"Can she imagine all future holidays and gatherings without them?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Your bubble is non-existent," I said. "You are in a service industry where you have no guarantees that your clients are virus-free. Look at me? I have a faulty mask. My youngest kid goes to high school. She has to wear a mask but there's no guarantee that every kid in her class follows the rules outside of the school." At the time, I wasn't aware that a couple of students at her school had tested positive for  COVID-19. I only discovered this news a few days after my cut. "Do your kids go to school?"

"Yes."

"So you're even more at risk. Do your siblings have kids in school? How about your parents and in-laws? Are they being safe?"

My barber was silent as he started thinking about what I had said.

"Even if you think the risk is low, how would you feel if one of the kids in school caught the virus but was asymptomatic, and passed it onto a grandparent? How would that kid feel if the grandparent died of this virus?"

"You're right," my barber said.

"Our bubbles aren't as small as we think they are. I'm doing everything I can to make sure I don't spread anything. I'm being careful, and yet I can't guarantee that I won't pass anything on unless I tell my family that we're not going to gather with anyone over the holiday."

"But it's Christmas," he said.

"It's only one Christmas," I replied. "Saying 'no' to guests will help ensure that you can get together with everyone next year."

"You're right," he said, "it's not worth the risk."

It was a relief to think he was going to heed my advice and not have a large gathering at his house. It is only one Christmas, after all. If we all stay home, without visitors, we help ensure we can get together next year.

Oh, and that mask? I threw it in the garbage as soon as I got home.