Terrible People

I try my hardest to stay positive, even with the political climate, the war in Ukraine, and the genocide in Gaza. I try but I don't always succeed.

I've also tried to stay positive through the pain I'm having in my shoulders. X-ray results have concluded that I have osteoarthritis in my left shoulder but were inconclusive about the right one, which gives me more pain, almost constantly.

I've been prescribed Celebrex, a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drug. I've been taking it for almost two weeks and have felt no relief. I've also had a couple of physiotherapy sessions, where one of the exercises caused even more pain, so I've stopped that activity.

I returned to my doctor after receiving the x-ray results, and was given another requisition form for ultrasound. Because I went to a walk-in clinic near my home for the x-ray, I decided to go there for the ultrasound, as well.

Image: Perplexity & The Brown Knowser

This clinic always has a long lineup, even if you arrive before it opens. For my x-ray, I waited almost a half hour to register and then an additional half hour to be seen. Overall, that's not too bad, considering I received the requisition one day and had the x-rays completed the next morning.

For my ultrasound, the lineup was the same length when I arrived but for some reason, it took longer. But I remained positive: there was nothing I could do about it.

About a minute or so after I joined the line, more people filed in behind me. I could hear a woman, about three people back, say, "this isn't the lineup for an x-ray, is it?"

The woman ahead of her said, "Yes, it's first come, first served."

The first woman complained, "This is ridiculous. Well, I'm behind you." She then took a seat nearby, as it seemed that she was unable to stand for any length of time."

I understood that: before my reconstructive foot surgery, I couldn't stand for very long without experiencing significant pain.

However, for the 45 minutes that I stood in that line, this person did nothing but complain. About everything: the poor organization of the clinic; the failure of the health system; the slowness of the line.

I tried blocking her out but it was nearly impossible, as she was pretty much the only one talking so much. The woman who was ahead of her would utter words of agreement but I had the feeling that she was trying to engage as little as possible with the complainer.

I was tempted to say, "How does complaining make the situation better?" but I wanted to keep out of it. I wanted to stay positive, though I found this person's voice to be mentally draining.

I finally reached the receptionist and gave her my requisition and health card. I also asked her how her day was going, so far, because I needed to spread some positive energy.

The receptionist asked me if I had an appointment and I said no, that I knew that those with appointments didn't have to wait in line. But I also asked her if ultrasounds were also provided on a walk-in basis, like x-rays.

They weren't.

The soonest she could schedule me was next Monday morning but I have a job interview then. She then booked me for first thing Tuesday morning.

But while we were arranging my appointment, the complaining woman's voice was still filling the air. "And don't get me started about the homosexuals and the atheists. And what happened to just males and females?"

I turned to look at her and she seemed to almost be talking to herself, as others in line were trying to distance themselves by looking away. Because I was engaging with the receptionist, there was nothing I could do. Not right away.

How could no one object to this terrible person? She had been negative throughout her time in line, and now she was attacking marginalized groups. And atheists--people like me.

The receptionist gave me back my requisition paper, with a slip of paper stapled to it that had my appointment printed on it. I wished her a wonderful day and turned to leave.

I try to stay positive. I try to wish the best for everyone. But I have no patience with haters.

I didn't know what to say, as she was now onto complaining about how her doctor had an unpronounceable name, being from Nigeria. I only had a couple of seconds to think about it and I knew I didn't want to create a scene.

"You're a terrible person," was all I said as I passed her, keeping my voice level and without aggression, just stating a clear fact. Our eyes only made contact while I spoke, for maybe two seconds. I continued on my way out of the clinic without looking back.

I wished there had been more people who spoke out against this woman. She needed to be made aware that her negativity and hatred aren't acceptable. Those immediately around her needed to shut her down.

I feel that I didn't do enough. But at least I did something.

And I'll continue to stay positive however I can.

Autumn Sky

A One-Way Paddle

I'm trying something new with my YouTube channel but I'm not sure I can sustain it.

On Friday, October 10, I released a new video. I had uploaded it to my channel a couple of days earlier but let it sit, unlisted, so that YouTube's algorithm could do its magic and ensure that it got to people who it thought would be interested in viewing it.

And on the Friday that my Tadoussac video was made public, I had another video locked and loaded, ready to be released on Friday, October 17. It's a video that I made of a kayaking journey that DW, our Paddlefolk, and I did on Saturday, October 11, when we put our kayaks into the Madawaska River at Cherry Point, near Calabogie, and paddled nearly 13 kilometres downstream, to Burnstown Beach.

It's a paddle that DW and I have wanted to do for a coupe of years now, and it was a perfect day to do it on the Thanksgiving weekend. It was sunny and the temperature was set to hit 31°C.

It was a one-way paddle, meaning that we set our kayaks up at Cherry Point, and then I drove my car to the endpoint, at Burnstown Beach. One of our Paddlefolk followed in his car and drove me back to Cherry Point.

Unfortunately, I forgot to grab my hat from the back seat of the Niro, so I was hatless when we set out. You can watch the video here:

My Tadoussac video was released on a day where I knew I'd be kayaking the next day and would in all likelihood record the event. So, when I made that video available to the public, I thought I would try to release videos each Friday, going forward.

I have another video being released this Friday, October 24. At the time of writing this blog post, I have plans to kayak on Sunday, October 19. And the video that results from that paddle will be made public on October 31.

I'm going to try to sustain this schedule for as long as I'm recording video. But the problem is that there is a limited amount of times left in the kayaking season. Very soon, I'll be taking the roof rack off the car and stowing it in the basement until ice-out conditions, next spring.

The latest we've gone kayaking was October 23 and that was in 2022. We had a glorious day and I'm hopeful that we see a few more of those this year.

I do have some raw footage of kayaking adventures that DW and I did, years ago, but I never used the footage. That could take up a couple of Fridays after this year's season comes to a close. But we'll see.

For now, expect at least two more kayaking videos. DW and I don't have any travel plans for the foreseeable future so my Friday schedule might be limited.

Stay tuned. 

Another Writing Group

Image: ChatGPT

Last week, I told you that I attended a gathering for writers to share their experiences and gain inspiration from one another; only, I was the only one, besides the organizer, to show up. It was interesting but I need to experience it with more people in attendance before I decide if this group is right for me.

But I also mentioned that there was a second writer's group later that same evening. This one was held at the library branch in Kanata, about a half hour away from home.

When I arrived at the meeting room, there was only one person there, again. It was the organizer, Alicia. While we waited for others to arrive (I arrived about five minutes before the start time), we said hello and talked about ourselves and what drew us to writing. But as the 6:30 start time came and went, Alicia and I realized that we were going to be the only two at this meeting.

I told her about my experience at the first Writing Circle (the tables and chairs were set up in a rectangle, by the way: I don't know why that bothered me but it did) and how I felt put on the spot to write some prose about trees in five minutes. I said that I hoped this group wouldn't be doing similar exercises.

Alicia assured me that this writing group didn't do that. She said that usually there are four to six people who show up and they talk about their writing process and about any hurdles they experience. But mostly, it's a place where writers can work on their projects and perhaps bounce ideas off of one another.

Alicia is working on a screenplay as well as a novel, though she suspected that her screenplay was a distraction to keep her from finishing her novel. I said that at least she was writing and that I hoped she gained joy from her creations.

I told her about Dark Water and The Watcher, and I said that I was hoping this group would be interested in sharing snippets of our work and receiving constructive criticism. Alicia let me read a passage from The Watcher, which I though was written in an artsy-fartsy way—a departure from my usual blunt writing. She said that she usually didn't like overly descriptive writing but felt mine wasn't over the top, and that she could imagine the scene I painted.

So, yay.

We chatted for about an hour and then we decided to get down to work, turning to our computers (I brought a laptop). I decided to read and clean up some of the early chapters that I had written, a couple of months ago, for The Watcher, while Alicia worked on her screenplay.

When the second hour was up (the event runs 6:30–8:30), we called it a night. Alicia asked me if I planned on returning, saying that she suspected no one turned up because the schedule for this group had changed from once a month to once every two weeks (though the calendar on the Ottawa Public Library Web site says the next one is in three weeks). I said that I would come to the next one because I wanted to assess the group when there were other people to assess.

We said goodnight and went our separate ways.

As soon as I reached my car, I felt mentally drained. Though I'm a social creature, I'm also morbidly shy and an introvert. In a group of strangers, I'll sit quietly, speaking only when addressed directly. In a one-on-one setting with a stranger, I'll talk a lot but doing so drains me.

I drove home and turned on some mindless television to decompress.

So, my experience with two writing groups wasn't an entire bust but neither lived up to my expectations, and I really didn't know what to expect with either. As I said, I need to see these groups with several more people to make a judgment about whether I want to be a part of them.

The next Beaverbrook Writing Group is Thursday, November 6, and the next Writing Circle at the Ruth E. Dickenson branch is Thursday, November 27. If you're a writer, a poet, or someone who aspires to become one, check them out.

There's also the Capital Region Writer's Group, which also meets at the Ruth E. Dickenson library. This group provides a space for writers to work on projects amongst other writers. The next gathering is also on Thursday, November 6, from 6:00 to 8:30, so I'll have to decide which group I should attend.

Happy Monday!

The Writing Circle

I walked into the room not knowing what to expect.

I saw a post on Bluesky that shared a link to a gathering that was called The Writing Circle, which was held at the library that is in my part of Ottawa. The group met on the third Thursday of the month, at three o'clock.

Except next month, when it meets on November 27.

I first learned of this group in April, but because the family and I were preparing for our trip to Peru and I had other obligations on days when the group met, I decided I would wait until the group started again, if they did, indeed, start up again.

Because I was in the midst of writing my first draft of Dark Water, I was intrigued. Would this group of fellow writers—novice or experienced—be able to share ideas and provide constructive criticism to one another? Would the Writing Circle help me to be a better writer?

I saw that the group was convening again, this month, and made the decision go check it out. Being only 10 minutes away from home, I thought why not.

When I walked into the room, there were two people there. One introduced herself as the coordinator for the group, Elspeth; the other, I'm afraid to say, is a name I have forgotten: she only made a short appearance (I think she works for the library) before leaving me alone with Elspeth.

No one else joined the group when three o'clock chimed in.

We talked a bit about ourselves and our experience with writing. While Elspeth isn't a writer by profession, she writes reports as part of her job and turns to poetry and prose in her spare time.

As the leader of the Writing Circle, Elspeth brings themes to the meetings. For this meeting, the theme was trees. We read a couple of poems and then took five minutes to take something from the poems, as inspiration, to write something about trees.

Here's what I wrote in those five minutes:

Trees don't seek attention, though they get it all the same. Our eyes are naturally drawn to their beauty, whether their leaves wave to us in a gentle breeze or whisper as that wind is a part of them.

A tree gives us shade, gives us shelter from the rain. I gives us the very air we breathe. It keeps us alive.

A tree can dance with the sun, the beams peeking through like playful laughter. The smell of a tree through the year is as varied as the changing seasons: the moist musk of spring; the fresh sweetness of summer; the dry crackle of autumn; and the cool freshness of winter.

I know, it's crap. But it was a brain spill for which I was given no time to prepare, only the time to write it out by hand (and I haven't written with a pen and paper in a long time!).

As the person who came up with the theme, I'm sure Elspeth had some idea about what she wanted to say. In my opinion, that's not exactly fair.

Perhaps with more people—I was told there are generally six to eight people in the group—it would have been better. And when Elspeth asked me what I'd like to see in the group, I said I didn't think I could come up with expectations when I came with none to begin with.

I wanted to get a feel of the crowd before coming up with expectations. But in the meantime, I was hoping that we would share our writing without being put on the spot to come up with something.

I'm a thinker. I need time to come up with something to write. It's only then that I can get going, but only if that idea moves me.

In the past, with this blog, I would often force myself to sit in front of the computer, thinking that staring at the screen would bring words to me. I can't do that anymore: I need to have an idea before I start a post.

They're not always great posts but they aren't as spontaneous anymore.

We ended the Writing Circle a bit early but I promised that I would return. I want to see how the group works with several people before I determine if it's right for me.

The only inspiration I took from the first meeting was to write this post as soon as I returned home.

There's another writing group that will meet, tonight, in Kanata. I'm going to check that one out and will share that experience in a future post.

I've written for so long in a silo that I think it'll be good to get some perspective. And perhaps these groups are just what I need.

How about you? Are you looking for inspiration for your writing? Why not drop in, next month, and see what this group can do for you?

Happy Friday!

Beer O'Clock: l'Arbre de Vie

The hostess of our Bed & Breakfast cautioned us, about a week ahead, to make a reservation and we didn't heed that advice.

It was one of those towns where, if you blinked, you would miss it. We were there on a Sunday evening, after the Labour Day weekend and when kids were back in school. Why would we need to make a reservation?

Apparently, Le Baldaquin Resto-Pub, in Neuville, Québec, is the most-popular dining venues in the area, about a half an hour west of Québec City. At 6:30, the place was packed.

The person who greeted us at the door had a sad look on her face as we told her that no, we didn't make a reservation. We spotted a couple, who were also checking in at our B&B at the same time, and they had mentioned that they had reserved their table.

They had taken our hostess' advice.

We were told that there could be a table free in another half an hour, and we left our name. Because Neuville is so small and we didn't want to move our car—we managed to snare the last parking spot on the premises, while other patrons parked on a dirt road across the street—we only wandered from the pub, on Rue des Erables, to the main highway that runs through the town, and back. There wasn't much to see but we killed about 20 minutes.

The restaurant did have a patio but because it had been raining fiercely and it had somewhat cooled outside, there were no patrons at the tables. We waited on the patio and watched the sun set.

Before the 30 minutes was up, a man who we had seen behind the bar stepped out and told us that if we were willing to sit at the bar, he would serve us. A couple had left the restaurant just as we had been returning to it.

There was a constant murmur of patrons but because it was a fairly tight space, it wasn't too loud. The resto-pub was also home to a craft brewery so when the bartender offered us something to drink, there were plenty of lagers and ales to choose from.

I chose a style of ale that I haven't had in quite a while.

L'Arbre de Vie Smoked Scotch Ale (7.2% ABV; 33 IBUs)
L'Esprit de Clocher Microbrasserie
Neuville QC

Appearance: pours a muddy brown with copper highlights. A creamy beige head leaves a solid cap and clings to the side of the glass.

Nose: burnt toffee and prunes, encapsulated in a fine smoke.

Palate: the smoky flavour coats the tongue and there's almost a meatiness to it, like a bratwurst sausage. The finish is somewhat charred but of medium body, and when all is said and done there's a bit of a bitter cocoa powdered sensation that remains.

Overall impression: I have to admit that my tasting notes are based on the cans that I brought home with me. The smokiness of this ale is more pronounced than I remember from the draft version of L'Arbre de Vie (Tree of Life). When I sat at the bar, sipping this beer and enjoying a crispy chicken sandwich, I distinctly tasted more caramel and toasted biscuit. Perhaps the homemade barbecue sauce on the sandwich influenced my memory but I was well into that pint before my supper came.

I let the ale sit in my glass, at home, for quite a while, letting the air affect it and allowing the beer to come up in temperature (my mini fridge keeps cans quite cold). And while the strength of the smokiness settled, there was still the charred-wood finish that I don't remember sensing before.

Mind you, this is not a criticism and the finish adds more complexity to the ale. I still like this ale.

Beer O'Clock rating: 🍺🍺

Our evening in Neuville marked the end to our Laurentian vacation. The next morning, after breakfast, we drove home with nearly a dozen cans of beer in our cooler.

When we set out on our vacation, I didn't expect it to be a beercation. I had scoped out breweries in Chicoutimi—where we spent very little time—and in Tadoussac, where we were for two nights. I was hoping to check out the microbrewery in this town, and I did. But I also stumbled upon so many more breweries and tried more craft beer than I expected to find.

And I'm thrilled about the experience.

I've always known that Québec is home to excellent beer and this trip confirmed that notion. This vacation also renewed my love of beer—I had lost my passion over the summer—and I'm looking forward to discovering new beer from around the globe.

Cheers! 

Best Fit

Image: Perplexity

I had to check to see if Monster.ca was still a thing.

There was another popular job-search site that I had used, back in 2002-2003, when I was laid off from Corel, but I had forgotten the name until I asked ChatGPT to jog my memory. That other company was Workopolis.

I have learned that Workopolis was acquired by a company called Indeed, which is a site I accessed to apply for a couple of jobs (one of those jobs got filled, while I have been given an interview date for another). And I'm pretty sure I'm still in Monster's database, though I'll be damned if I could ever remember my access credentials.

One thing that always reminds me that I'm in job-search databases is when a head hunter reaches out to me about a job. Over the 19 years that I worked for Motorola Solutions (we were bought by MSI in 2018 and had several name changes before then), I would often receive an e-mail about a job opportunity, even though I wasn't actively seeking. Those notifications would pop up a couple of times a month, though over the years they dwindled to one every few months, to one or two a year.

In fact, I got my job with Motorola from such a head hunter when I was at my previous job. The timing was perfect because I had asked for a raise and was denied one. The next day, someone reached out to me about a job and I was intrigued.

That head hunter and I spoke on the phone, and when he said he would set up an interview with the manager, he mentioned that manager's name: he was the person who had hired me at Corel and we periodically kept in touch.

I told the head hunter to say hi for me when he contacted the manager. Five minutes later, the head hunter called me back to say that the manager had essentially hired me, subject to me wanting to work with him again—if I thought the job would be the best fit for me.

Last week, I was contacted by another head hunter about a job opportunity. I'm not sure how he found me, whether through LinkedIn or through one of these old job-search sites. But he gave me a vague description for the role of communicator/writer with a private company. If I was interested, I was asked to reach out and to provide my CV.

I did reach out and asked him to provide me the name of the company and more details about the job, including the qualifications they were seeking. The next day, the head hunter responded and essentially repeated his first message, adding only that it was a renewable one-year contract.

I think what some head hunters fail to recognize is that when someone applies to a job, that person needs to determine if the position and company is as much a good fit for the applicant as the applicant is for the company and position. I wanted to know who I was applying to and what exactly they expected of me.

Because the head hunter didn't provide me helpful information—in fact, I wondered if it was just an AI bot that I was communicating with—I ignored his last e-mail message. For me, it wasn't much of a response.

Yesterday, the head hunter reached out again to see if I was interested in applying. He repeated the vague job description—without a company name—and again asked me to send him my CV.

This time, I replied that I was reluctant to supply my CV until I knew more about the company and the position, and that his messages weren't clear. Who, at the very least, was the company that was looking for a writer?

He came back immediately with the company name, but no further details.

I was done with this person. If he couldn't respond to a simple inquiry, how easily would it be to deal with him going forward? I was familiar with the company but still wanted to know the roles and responsibilities, and I was getting no help.

Even though I wasn't interested in working with this person, I put out one more message to ask what sort of experience the company was looking for and what tasks the position entailed. My response was curt, without any 'please' or 'thank you.'

Within a minute, I received a reply: "I don’t think this one will be a good fit."

I couldn't agree more. If the job posting can't even tell me what skills the company is looking for nor can describe exactly what it is they expect the candidate to do, it's not a place where I'd care to work.

It was not the best fit for me because I was denied the opportunity to decide if I was the best fit for it.

And I doubt I'll hear from that head hunter again or would even want to. He's not a good fit, either.

Kayaks and Beer

It's hard to believe that it's been more than a month since DW and I returned from our Laurentian vacation. I guess it's because I've been still going through photographs and video footage that this trip seems so close to me.

But I think I'm through all of that, now. Last week, I finished putting together my last video of that region and on Friday, the video became public on my YouTube channel.

It's a relatively short video that covers our stay in Tadoussac, where we spent time kayaking, hiking, exploring the town, whale watching, and sampling a flight of beer. You can watch it yourself, here.

If you like my videos, please do me a favour and hit the Thumbs Up button. Do me a real solid by subscribing to my channel: if you like my blog, you'll like my videos, too.

I hope.

Happy Tuesday!

The Third Cut is the Deepest

When I surprised myself by how quickly I was writing Dark Water, I honestly thought that it could possibly be published by the end of this year. Assuming someone would want to publish my novel in the first place.

I started writing this crime fiction mid to late March and finished the first draft by the beginning of August. For me, it shattered a record for writing a book, especially since I had taken more than two weeks off to travel to Peru and several more weeks to work on photos from that vacation, and to put together kayaking videos for my YouTube channel, too.

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When I finished the first draft, I took a few days to empty my head of the story. Though I was done, I knew that I wasn't done-done: there would be errors to fix, facts to check, and storylines to verify—to make sure that I didn't contradict things that I wrote in one place and mess up later in the story.

When I read through the novel, I did find some mistakes that I needed to clean up. There were also some things relating to police work and the legal system that I glossed over on the first draft but needed to tighten up, fix, or elaborate on.

Upon finishing the second draft, I shared the Google Docs files with DW and friends who were interested in reviewing Dark Water. I left the manuscript with them at the end of August, before DW and I headed out on our vacation in the Laurentians and the Saguenay Fjord.

During that time, I tried to not think of the book but it was tough. Plus, I had already started work on The Watcher, the next Calloway and Hayes murder mystery. I've had these characters in my head for some time now and couldn't wait for feedback.

The only critical feedback I had hear by the end of September was from DW. And though she hadn't finished reading the story, she gave me something at the start that got me thinking of more changes.

Last week, I started work on the third draft.

Image: Perplexity

I'm being brutal on the story, this time. It's very hard for a writer to look at sections of his or her creation and think, nope, that's not necessary to the story, and start ripping them out.

DW saw a crack in the story very early on and I've totally changed that section, adding new content and creating two new—though minor—characters. It's funny how one idea that seems so small at first becomes even bigger when you start working through it and how the detectives would deal with the new information.

I thought I'd be cutting out sections and here I was, adding more pages.

There are pages that I've also removed entirely. Early into sharing with you the opening chapter of Dark Water, I wrote about a retired couple that discover the murder victim in the Rideau River while kayaking. On my third draft, I've cut so much from that chapter that when I was done cutting, the book was five pages shorter.

There was too much backstory to minor characters and it didn't move the story forward.

I'm taking more time to go through this draft than I did with the second one. I want this to be the final draft before I submit it to a publisher. And while I'm sure that the publisher will edit more, I want to give that person as lean a story to start with.

Deleting words from a novel is hard. I had to say goodbye to parts that I enjoyed writing. But in the end, writing too much is just too much. Things had to go.

Wish me luck while I finish work on this third draft. Hopefully, it'll leave me with a work of which I can be truly proud.

Happy Friday!

Beer O'Clock: Manguito

Throughout our trip in the Laurentians—it's hard to believe we've already been back for more than a month—DW and I managed to find lots of great places with fabulous craft ale. And while our vacation was about kayaking and exploring this beautiful region of Québec, we didn't think it was going to be a beer road trip.

And yet, it kind of turned out to be one.

From our first night out, away from our campsite, we found lots of microbreweries and pubs that sold local craft beer. And on one night, in Tadoussac, after a fabulous dinner at an upscale restaurant where we both decided that we didn't want to drink alcohol, we still managed to find some interesting beer after our meal.

Earlier in the day, after some kayaking in Baie Tadoussac and the mouth of the Saguenay River, DW and I got cleaned up and went for lunch at Microbrasserie Tadoussac, overlooking the bay and next to our hotel. There, we shared a pizza and a sampler of their brews.

We were going to pick up an interesting gose that we tried but unfortunately, they were sold out of the cans. Our server told us that the local grocery store carries it, so that's where we went after our dinner outing.

Sadly, while the store had lots of their beer, as well as a couple of brews from La Souche, they didn't have the Krill gose that we wanted. But while we were searching, we did decide to pick up a couple of cans from other microbreweries and bring them home.

DW picked up a sour ale from La Souche, which I'm hoping she'll share and let me review. I saw an interesting beer from a brewery on the northwest shore of the St. Lawrence, across from the island of Montréal.

What caught my attention was that the beer was a mango IPA. It was also low in alcohol for an IPA. All too often, as I stated in a past review, Québec brewers tend to put out brews with high alcohol levels: it's nice to see the opposite of that.

I absolutely love mangoes so I grabbed a couple of cans, finally opening one this week.

Manguito IPA à la Mangue (4.4% ABV; 33 IBUs)
Simple Malt Brasseurs
Saint-Eustache QC

Appearance: a dense, apricot-pink colour that was like a pale ruby grapefruit juice. The fizzy, white head settled within seconds to a fine lace, and then just tiny pearls that churned at the surface.

Nose: fresh oranges and mangoes.

Palate: a light, watery start that has the lightest body. On the first sip, I could have been convinced that this was actually a non-alcoholic beer but on the next sip, a bitter grapefruit rind came through with just a hint of orange and even fainter mango. The finish is medium, with the grapefruit rind lingering whilst all other characteristics fading away.

Overall impression: after my first sip, I was sure that I wasn't going to like this IPA. It didn't look like an IPA with it's hazy fruit-punch appearance. The lack of any sustained head seemed a bit of a concern. The fruity nose was nice but didn't stand out. And when it initially tasted like a non-alcoholic beer, I was sceptical as to whether I'd even finish my pint.

But after a few mouthfuls, the grapefruity-mango flavours grew on me. The bitterness was IPA if not the body. While I don't think this is a particularly good IPA, it's a nice, light, fruity beer. I won't likely purchase it again but I'll enjoy the second can of what I have.

Beer O'Clock rating: 🍺🍺

I still have a couple more brews from our vacation to share with you, so stay tuned.

Cheers!

Imagining Characters

Okay, I was reading and making changes to the third draft of my crime novel, Dark Water, last week, and I got tired, so I took a break.

I was thinking of the characters, putting imaginary faces to them and trying to not associate any of them with real people. This is fictional, after all.

Even though some of the characters were loosely based on real people, I tried to picture them differently so that I could honestly say that they are truly made up. The main detectives in the story, Mickey Calloway and Erin Hayes, weren't based on anyone at all. There were no real-life people or characters from other fictional writers that I drew from in imagining them.

As I've written in other posts, I've used AI to generate Calloway and Hayes, based on descriptions I had written in my novel. And while my AI tools created a perfect DS Hayes, I still think my Inspector Calloway needs work.

Anyway, last week, while I was taking a break from my rewrite of the story (I've chopped a lot and added some new stuff, which I'll talk about more for this week's Friday Fiction post), I thought I would us Perplexity to flesh out some more characters.

The first person that I got the AI tool to create was the murder victim, Emily Fraser. She's an investigative reporter who covers Ottawa municipal affairs. As I've already shared in the synopsis, Fraser is found in the Rideau River only days after she and her fiancé, Ottawa City Councillor Daniel Whitmore, failed to board an Air Canada flight that crashed shortly after taking off.

Initially, when I was trying to picture a strong, confident reporter, I thought of Rachel Gilmore, but I didn't feel comfortable having her likeness as a murder victim (I mean, really, I don't like picturing anybody as a victim of a violent crime). I wrote Fraser as a pretty woman with long red hair and gave more description to Perplexity, not mentioning Gilmore at all.

Here's who it gave me on the first try. (Actually, this is the second try, as you'll see.)

Emily Fraser

She was perfect. In the original image, the AI tool tried to place the CBC logo on the building of the background but it was awful. It was also yellow instead of red, so I asked it to remove the logo but keep Fraser exactly the same.

Next on my list was Fraser's fiancé, Daniel Whitmore. There were a couple of tweaks I had to make, like removing a beard (I didn't mention one in my description but Perplexity felt the need to add one), and not making him platinum blond.

I like the third image and that's the one I've kept.

Daniel Whitmore

Next, I was thinking of the police superintendent of the Serious Crimes Unit, Conner Watkins. I've never mentioned him in previous blog posts but it stands to reason that Calloway and Hayes have a boss.

This one was tricky: the AI tool generated some pretty goofy looking bosses, even though I said that Watkins was serious and by-the-book, but also cared about his team of detectives. I had it think of a coach of a sports team, but images made him almost comical.

It wasn't until I removed the reference to a coach that it got closer to my idea of what Watkins looks like. And I also had to get rid of the idea of him wearing a uniform because the AI image always made the uniform look more military or would have some pretty awful spellings of Ottawa and Police.

In plain clothes, the tool came to a very good rendering of Superintendent Conner Watkins.

Conner Watkins

One person who is a supporting character that has already made an appearance in the sequel, The Watcher, is Chief Pathologist Dr. Leslie Abbot. She is a no-nonsense person that is also willing to let her personality come through and show that she's human, too.

AI had trouble with her age, which is actually rather fitting. When I first introduce her, she appears "older than Calloway by a few years, maybe by as many as ten. Though, because of her line of work, seeing so much death, natural or otherwise, she could have been younger by as many years, her career aging her more quickly."

Here's the image I settled on:

Leslie Abbot

In sharing the next couple of characters, I have to be careful. I don't want to reveal anything or cause any future readers to draw conclusions. There are some people who appear throughout the story and are driving characters, and here they are.

Jason School is the Ottawa Councillor for Riverside South Ward. Perplexity got his description bang-on: he looks more like a school teacher than a representative for the people in his ward, though he's well-respected.

Jason School

He sits on the Committee for Infrastructure Development and is working with Whitmore, who is the councillor for Barrhaven East and sits on the transit committee, on overseeing the expansion of Ottawa's light-rail system from Riverside South to Barrhaven, where residents of these two wards would have easy access to transportation to the Ottawa airport.

When Whitmore goes missing after the death of Fraser, police turn to School in the hopes that he knows where Whitmore is.

Councillor School also is a supporter of Rick Byers, owner of the construction company that is building the transit stations for the expanded LRT line. Both he and School were being investigated by Fraser before her death.

I gave Perplexity a description of Byers that I wrote in the book. It had some issues and cited that it was creating a character that represented a real person, so I asked it to make Byers fictional, and it finally gave me what I was asking for.

Rick Byers

That's all I want to say about these characters. You'll have to read the story to learn more about them.

But my distraction from writing gave me good ideas of the main characters in Dark Water. What do you think?

Happy Wednesday!

Improving My YouTube Channel

I've been looking at ways at improving my status on YouTube. I mean, I don't think I'm going to make outstanding videos that everyone is going to watch, or that I'll ever make money from my channel, but I think it would be nice to have at least a thousand subscribers.

To that end, I've been watching videos from successful YouTubers who are sharing tips on what to do to gain subscribers and to improve the search-engine optimization (SEO) of my channel. Some are great tips and others I just plain question.

For example, it's recommended by many YouTubers that when you upload a video, you don't make it available to the public immediately. As soon as you've uploaded your video, you should make it unlisted or even private for at least 24 hours to give the algorithms time to analyse your content so that it can direct it to a relevant audience.

Letting the automated processes work without others randomly looking at the channel apparently gives it a better chance to get your video to the right people.

I've also started adding hashtags in the description, as well as improving the description so that keywords are repeated. This also apparently helps the algorithm.

Other tips include adding your own comment and pinning it, adding links, using the same title as the file name, and more. I've done all of these: we'll see if, in time, it helps my channel.

One thing that I've heard one YouTuber claim that others have not is to not share your video with friends and family. His reasoning is that these people aren't necessarily your target audience and may skew the algorithm in finding the right target.

When I've been releasing my kayak videos, I let my Paddlefolk friends know about it. Whether they were paddling with DW and me or not, they seem to be genuinely interested in our kayaking adventures and how I've put those videos together.

But I've also shared these videos on my blog site and I think that's fine.

Most of my readers, I would think, share an interest in the topics that I write about on The Brown Knowser blog. Maybe not every topic but enough to have you read another post or return to the site.

I thank you kindly for that.

Because I do talk about travel and kayaking a lot on my blog, I assume that people read my blog because they like travelling and kayaking, too. Let me know if I'm wrong; if I am, what interests you about my blog?

So, I share my YouTube videos here. I think of my channel as an extension to my blog and that anyone who is interested in the content here might also be interested in the content on my channel.

What do you think?

Anyway, last weekend, I released a video of DW's and my kayaking adventure in the Saguenay Fjord. It's a continuation of our trip in the Laurentians, of which I had already shared two videos from Parc National de la Jacques-Cartier. I had shared those videos before I saw the video where someone said that I shouldn't be sharing my videos with family and friends.

It's now been more than a week since I made that video public and I feel that if the YouTube algorithm analyses the content to seek out the best audience that they would have done that by now. And I'm counting on the people who access my videos from my blog do so because you're legitimately interested in that content.

Here's that video: give it a watch if exploring the Saguenay Fjord and kayaking interest you.

And if my videos interest you, please subscribe to my channel. I'd like to reach at least 300 subscribers by the end of the year, so if you know anyone who might also be interested in the content on my channel, share the videos with them and tell them to subscribe, too.

I'll continue to seek out videos that give me advice for growing my channel. I'll just take some of that advice with a grain of salt.

Happy Tuesday!

Hunting

After nearly seven months of being 'retired' (that is, my company of almost 19 years laid me and my entire department off), I've decided that I'm not quite ready to be fully retired.

Within a day or two of being laid off, several people reached out to me for much-appreciated support, some even letting me know that they would keep an eye out for employment opportunities in my field of expertise. One person told me that she often has writing contracts with her company, and did I want her to reach out when such an opportunity arose.

Yes, I told her. Thanks very much.

Another colleague that I worked with at Motorola, who had been laid off many months earlier, contacted me to let me know that his new company was looking for a writer, and would I be interested. I thanked him for thinking of me but that I was going to take the spring and summer off to work on a novel, that if another opportunity arose down the road to think of me again.

I was touched by the number of people who told me that they had my back and would reach out if another writing job came in their sights. It's good to know that there were those who believed in me.

Image: Perplexity

When we returned from our Laurentian-Saguenay vacation, DW suggested that it was time that I started looking for work. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but I agreed that I needed to return to the workforce, needed to interact with people again.

I've activated job notifications on LinkedIn and have let my followers on that platform know that I'm looking for work again. So far, it's been pretty quiet but I've been pretty low-key about applying to anything.

I want to do something that brings me joy.

DW suggested that I even apply to Costco, and I considered applying to work in their electronics department. But when I started the online application process and learned that my data would be stored in the United States, I backed out of the site.

Yes, I'm sure the U.S. has information on me already (Motorola is an international company but it's headquartered in the States) but I don't want to voluntarily give them more information, especially in this political climate.

When thinking of jobs that interest me, I thought back to some of the jobs I've had in the past. I thought of my days of teaching English in South Korea. For the most part, I enjoyed it—I loved most of my students and being in a different part of the world, though it came with its fair share of stress.

I thought of when I worked in retail and remembered that I thrived in the jobs I had, from selling paint and wallpaper to selling cameras and photo accessories.

I've started applying to retail stores, though I've focused on Canadian-owned companies. I've even applied to a camera chain, thinking that my 45-plus years of experience with photography would be an asset.

And, I'm good with people.

I think.

While I don't have to have a job, I think it would be good for me and it would be good for whoever hires me. I would be there for them because I wanted to be, not because I had to be.

Whatever I end up doing, I'll give it my all until I finally retire, for good, which was originally when I turned 63, but may end up being when DW decides to retire, herself.

Know of someone in the Ottawa area who is hiring? Check out my LinkedIn profile and reach out to me if you think I'd be a good fit.

And wish me luck in my hunt.

Sounding Board

Image: Perplexity

When I was coming up with my idea for Dark Water, my Ottawa-based murder mystery, I did a lot of brainstorming around DW. I already had a victim and my detectives but I didn't have the killer or a motive.

I just started spitballing ideas while DW and I were driving around the city, running errands, and it was actually something that I heard on the radio that gave me an idea. The motive for the murder is loosely based on the plot of a horror movie—and when I say 'loosely based,' it's extremely loose.

It took about a week of brainstorming before I had enough of my plot to start writing in earnest. Even Kid 1 was consulted for opinions and she asked me very good questions that helped me shape the story even more.

Throughout the writing process, I bounced ideas off DW's head but for the most part, when she was working and I was writing, I used ChatGPT not only as an advanced search tool but also as a sounding board for some of my ideas.

As I wrote in another blog post, ChatGPT seemed to agree with me far too much for my liking. I wanted some critical opinions.

When I started using Perplexity, I started getting what seemed like more honest opinions about my ideas, sometimes being told that my idea was unbelievable or just plain wrong for the story.

When I finished the second draft of Dark Water, I was inspired to continue writing another Calloway and Hayes mystery. I wanted the story to be mostly set in the ByWard Market and to be more psychological in its theme. Plus, I wanted a second story that would also be more disturbing than the first.

And I've already completed five chapters and the prologue to The Watcher.

This time, however, instead of bouncing ideas off my family, I wanted the story to be a mystery for them, too. So I started spitballing ideas off of both ChatGPT and Perplexity to see if they would offer me insight into fleshing out the story.

But I would also take their suggestions and bounce them off of each other. For example, I'd ask ChatGPT about ritualistic killings and history of Ottawa, and then take its answer and run it past Perplexity to gain the AI search tool's insight.

Keep in mind that I'm still coming up with the ideas. The AI tools are just telling me how realistic these ideas are and are coming up with evidence to support the plot. Whenever they suggest writing the story itself, I decline the offer.

I'm the writer.

Plus, any information that these search tools give me are verified through Google searches. Perplexity provides the sources for its information and I check them out, weighing the credibility.

Even though I'm writing fiction, I want it to be as accurate as possible.

What about the other writers out there? Are you using AI to help you shape your stories? Let me know.

Happy Friday!

Beer O'Clock: Saison Season

Our first introduction to the Saguenay fjord started and ended on a high note.

As we drove into the Parc National du Fjord-du-Saguenay, winding down a hill on a narrow road that showed towering cliffs the closer that we got to Baie Éternité, we knew that our stay and upcoming paddle were going to be special. We had already marvelled at the beautiful scenery on the drive from Chicoutimi to the park, and we couldn't wait to see the fjord over the next two days.

As soon as we set up our campsite, DW and I headed out for dinner. I was promised, after we left Parc National de la Jacques-Cartier, that we wouldn't be cooking dinner for the rest of the trip. We'd still handle breakfast and lunch—we still had some food in our cooler—but we'd treat ourselves to dinner, going forward.

But before we went in search of a restaurant, DW and I wanted to see the fjord from high above, at sunset. And as the agent at the tourist-information centre in Chicoutimi had recommended, l'Anse De Tabatière was the perfect spot.

To see more views from this Sepaq spot (there's a fee for entering but because our campsite is part of Sepaq, we could get in for free), check out my related YouTube video.

On our drive between our campsite and l'Anse De Tabatière, DW did a Google search to see restaurant recommendations for the nearby town, L'Anse-Saint-Jean, she found a microbrasserie-restaurant that appealed to us both.

La Chasse-Pinte—The Pint Chaser or Pint Hunting (or The Pint Hunt).

The microbrewery is located in what appears to be a small farm, with a house that doubles as a restaurant. There's also an associated general store that sells their beer. DW and I sat on the patio that overlooked a field, with the bay in the distance (anse is French for 'cove'). It was a bit cool so we wore sweaters.

Our server was amazing. He was from France and explained to us that he was just finishing a two-year work visa in Canada: he had worked in British Columbia for his first year and finished his second year in Québec, and he'd be heading home at the end of September.

I told him that I suspected he was French because I understood him better than most French-Canadians. It's ironic that the French I learned in school wasn't in a West-Québec dialect.

Our food was perfectly prepared. It's funny that after nearly a month, I've forgotten exactly what I ordered (it was their special of the day) but I remember how the meal made me feel—it made me feel that if DW and I couldn't find a restaurant for our second night in this area that appealed to us that I'd be happy to return.

But what I really remember is the beer that I had with my meal.

Comité Social Saison with Oolong Tea (5% ABV)
Brasserie Coopérative La Chasse-Pinte
L'Anse-Saint-Jean QC

Appearance: an unfiltered apricot-gold with a foamy white head. Classic saison.

Nose: bananas and what I thought of as a fragrant green tea. I'm afraid that I'm not really familiar with Oolong tea and what it's supposed to smell like, but green tea is what hit me.

Palate: a metallic mineral flavour that is typical of a good saison, with a bit more banana and tea backing up the others. A medium body brought a pleasing, palate-cleansing finish that had me wanting more.

Overall impression: this is a beautiful saison with a great blend of the tea that complements, not overpowers. I wish I had stopped in the store after our meal to purchase some to bring home but both DW and I were tired after another long day and our sleeping bags were calling to us.

Beer O'Clock rating: 🍺🍺🍺

The next evening, we did find another highly recommended restaurant in L'Anse-Saint-Jean, so we gave it a try. Auberge Le Camp de Base was located within a motel that rests along Highway 170, at the intersection of Rue Saint-Jean-Baptiste (La Chasse-Pinte is further down this road and along the cove) and backs onto the Saint-Jean River. It doesn't look like much from the outside—it looks like an unassuming roadside motel—but the restaurant is spacious and has a huge bar, plus a quiet patio area, out back, that looks into a wooded area that separates the restaurant from the river.

Our server was friendly and explained that while he doesn't earn much at this restaurant (though, enough to get by), he and his family enjoy a simple life away from the bustle and pressures of a city. Plus, he was in the heart of some great skiing country.

I remember the meal from Le Camp de Base. While the restaurant looked simple, it created some tasty dishes. DW craved a burger while I chose a delicious personal-sized pizza with prosciutto, caramelized onions, walnuts, and arugula. It was amazing.

The restaurant also featured beer from La Chasse-Pinte and they had another saison: this one, flavoured with buckwheat.

Girouette Saison de Sarrasin (5% ABV)

Appearance: much like the Comité Social, this ale also had an unfiltered, apricot glow with a foamy-white head.

Nose: bananas and minerals. Another classic saison in the bouquet.

Palate: again, a classic saison but there was something more in the finish that gave it a bit more body and just the slightest of burns at the back of the throat (I say this is a good way, much like a smoky whisky activates senses at the back of your throat: this was subtler).

Overall impression: this was an extremely satisfying saison. As much as I loved Comité Social, this buckwheat saison won me over to this excellent brewery. Sadly, as I entered this brew into my Untapp'd app, I learned that Saison de Sarrasin is no longer in production. But I feel honoured to have some of the last of it.

Beer O'Clock rating: 🍺🍺🍺

Our visit to L'Anse-Saint-Jean marked the second and third times that we had sampled beer on our Laurentides vacation and we were three for three in the beer we had tried. In the Saguenay, DW tried a coffee brown ale and a raspberry sour ale, and the sips she offered me had me nodding my head in approval.

With three more evenings left in our trip, I was looking forward to tasting what other Québec brewers had to offer.

Stay tuned. 

Sunset Around Petrie Island

Game Changer

Last week, as I was working on the next video of DW's and my trip through the Saguenay, I encountered an issue that, for a moment, made my heart stop.

My usual workflow for editing video from one of my 360-degree cameras is to connect it, through Wi-Fi, to my smartphone, which holds a dedicated app. I'll made the edits with my phone and then export the completed clip to my phone: after which, I transfer the files on my phone to an external drive on my computer.

The next video that I was going to make was DW's and my kayaking adventure in Baie Éternité and the Saguenay River, in the fjord. It's already out on my YouTube channel, which you can check out if you're into kayaking videos.

Subscribe to my channel while you're at it.

Because so much of our vacation involved kayaking on challenging waters, I didn't want to risk having everything on one storage card, in case something happened to the camera. I saved one micro SD card with our first two paddles and hikes, but swapped out that card for another when we ran the Jacques Cartier River.

I added a third micro SD card to my Insta360 camera when DW and I paddled in the Saguenay fjords and a forth card for our time in the Tadoussac area. And I had to carefully store and keep track of these cards when I was done with them.

So, as I was getting ready to edit the video clips on the third card—for Baie Éternité—I plugged the micro SD card into the camera and turned the camera on. Usually, a pale-blue light appears on the camera as it's starting up and the light changes to a darker blue when it's ready, but this time the light appeared yellow and the camera made an odd beep sound.

A message on the camera indicated that it couldn't read the card. I thought that I had somehow inserted it incorrectly, so I shut down the camera, removed the card, made sure it was clean and had no debris on the contact points, made sure the card slot on the camera was also clean, re-inserted the card, and turned the camera on again.

And again, the yellow light and squawk from the camera told me that something was wrong. I tried to pair the camera with my phone, and it wouldn't let me.

And that's when my heart stopped. What if the micro SD card was corrupted and I couldn't access those files from Baie Éternité?

Insta360 has a desktop version of their editing software but I haven't used the app in years. The first time I shot video with the Insta360 One X camera, I plugged the camera into my computer and edited the footage with the Insta360 Studio program.

I found the interface a bit awkward and it took me a long time to edit a file. I also noticed that the desktop version was missing some key features from the mobile app, such as the ability to speed up video—something I use a lot in my videos.

So, after the first use with Insta360 Studio, I stuck with using the mobile app. I found using my fingers on the screen, even though it was small, was faster and more precise than using a mouse. And any video that I've shared in the past five years was edited on my phone.

I sort of dreaded starting up the desktop program but needed to see if the Baie Éternité video was salvageable. I had no choice.

Immediately upon starting Insta360 Studio, a message told me that the program needed an update, so that's what I did. With that task completed, I then plugged my micro SD card into the computer and crossed my fingers.

Immediately, the Studio program recognized that a card with its proprietary files had been plugged into the computer and asked if I wanted to import them. I didn't need to do anything other than click Yes.

The workspace showed me all of the files and when I double-clicked one, it came up onto my screen. I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't lost these files.

I also quickly noticed that the interface in the program looked different. The buttons were more intuitive than I remembered in the first-generation program. Also, having had more than five years of experience with the mobile app, which has itself had some major upgrades over that time, I was able to quickly navigate the various controls and edit the clip in no time at all.

And, if I'm being honest, in less time than the mobile app allows me.

The desktop app also lets you make manual edits for exposure and colour corrections, and provides higher bit-rate values than the handheld app does. Typically, in the mobile app, the maximum bit rate is between 100 and 150; on the desktop app, I could go as high as 200 on every clip.

The higher the bit rate, the better quality the video is. It also creates a much bigger file but my computer can handle it.

With the mobile app, I would edit a single file and then export it to the phone, which ate up a lot of time. With the desktop program, I was able to edit one file, add it to a queue, and then move onto the next file. When all the files were edited, I could perform a batch export and move all of the completed files to a designated folder at once.

What would have taken me at least a full day on my phone took less than half that time on the desktop. And I believe I have better-quality footage for when I use these files in Final Cut Pro, when I put them all together in a single video for YouTube.

That one glitch with the micro SD card in my camera turned out to be a gift in disguise. I'll be using the Insta360 Studio app from now on to edit the clips before exporting them to the next step in my video-making process.

It doesn't mean that I'll completely abandon the mobile app: it just means that that process will be my backup method when I don't have access to my computer.

This is a new game changer to my video-making process. I wish I had given this app another chance years ago, but better late than never.

Happy Tuesday!

The Talk

I have a secret that I haven't shared.

On my Bluesky social media site, I've tried to portray myself as a happy-go-lucky, positive guy. I tend to start every morning by posting a positive message to my followers and anyone else who stumbles along that message. My message always begins with "G'morning, folks. How are you now?"

I try to say something uplifting about the day, ending with, "Have a great day and be awesome!" Sometimes, if I'm in a particularly sleepy state, I'll have that post with just those three sentences.

Similarly, before I go to bed, I'll hope that my readers had a great day, let them know how awesome they are, and then bid them, "G'night, folks. Sleep well."

If just one person reads these sign-on and sign-off messages and feels good, I feel that I've made a difference. And I'll feel good, too.

Like everyone in the world, I don't always have good days. I'm not always a happy camper. I strive to do my best but I'm only human. Some days, I don't feel like sharing any positivity, even if I still start and end my social-media days on positive notes.

Here's the secret that I haven't shared: for months now, I've been waking up in terrible pain. I feel it coming on as I lie in bed, ready to sleep, knowing that it's going to interrupt that sleep.

It has me constantly tossing and turning, looking for a comfortable position, but none comes. DW and I have been sleeping in separate rooms for more than a year, and that's a good thing: my endless movement, my tearing at the sheets—in addition to my snoring—would give DW a terrible sleep, too.

Image: Perplexity

I'm pretty sure that I have arthritis in both shoulders. It doesn't affect me much during the day with regular activities but if I lie on either side, at night, the weight of my upper body eventually presses on my shoulder and causes me pain, and I'll stir and roll over.

I can't lie on my stomach because I instinctively raise my arms past my head, and that causes pain. And if I lie on my back, I'll start snoring and will wake myself up.

Essentially, there's no position that I can sustain over night. No matter what I do, I eventually feel pain or discomfort and wake up.

I can't remember the last time that I slept soundly through the night. Perhaps, in late July, when DW and I were camping at Bonnechere Provincial Park. And on that weekend, I had put a kink in my neck so bad that I had to fill my system full of pain medication and alcohol to knock me out.

The kayaking video that I made on that trip was done with lots of meds in me. I'm surprised that it turned out at all.

When DW and I were camping in Parc National de la Jacques-Cartier, I was also dealing with pain while I slept in a tent. Thankfully, the tent was huge and we were on separate mattresses, in our own sleeping bags, and my tossing and turning didn't disturb DW.

My snoring did, but that's a different issue.

On one of our hikes, we had a talk that I've wanted to discuss for some time.

DW has known me through some of the worst parts of my foot issues and was dating me when I had two surgeries on my right foot. She knows the osteoarthritis that I had been dealing with until 2018, when I had surgery on my left foot that removed all the arthritic joints (replacing them with a plate and eight screws) and the cortisone injections in the arthritic joints in my right foot.

She knew when I was at my lowest point, when I said that if the pain in my feet wasn't solved through that surgery and treatment that I had my bridge all picked out. I had reached my limit of pain intolerance.

Well, my feet are fine, now. I don't feel any pain in my left foot and my right foot is manageable.

But I now have this problem with my shoulders. And if I'm going to be honest, this pain is a bit more intense, especially in the morning, as I'm trying to get out of bed.

I'm waiting for an appointment to see my doctor to get x-rays. If my shoulders are arthritic, I'll get a referral for cortisone injections, which will hopefully make the pain manageable. So far, magnesium and turmeric aren't helping.

Also, the last couple of times that we were paddling, I'd get home to find some of the knuckles in my right hand are sore. That's just great.

While we were on that hike, I told DW that I refused to grow old and be in pain. I wanted my life to be one of quality and that I'd never want to be a burden on anyone, especially her and our kids.

If that meant that I only had 10 more years, so be it.

I don't have a bridge picked out anymore—I don't think my shoulders would let me hoist myself onto the railing. But MAID is definitely a possibility.

I thought DW would laugh it off: "Oh, Ross, don't talk nonsense." But she simply said, "That would be a responsible approach. But I'm hopeful to have you around for more than 10 years."

If I can find relief for my shoulders, she just might get more than 10 years with me. But if this pain continues, my days will be numbered.

I'm sorry if this post isn't as cheery as my Bluesky messages. But sometimes, we just need to have these kind of talks. I had lived with pain for more than 40 years. I'm not going to go through 10 more.