I Think My Wife is Trying to Kill Me

I know she means the best.

My wife wants me to be healthy so that I can live a long time, so that I can take out the trash, mow the lawn, shovel the driveway, refinish our bathroom, and empty the dishwasher. Among other chores.

She's the one who talked me into participating in a Try-a-Tri event a couple of years ago, a couple of swim-cycle events, to take spin and step classes. It was she who signed us up for the 175-kilometre cycle tour to Kingston last month (who, by the way, changed her entry to the 100K route only a couple of weeks before the event).

I'm not a health nut. I try to eat in moderation and get a bit of physical activity a couple of times a week. I love to ride my bike, but I don't do it out of a sense to train for any event. I'll talk about my love of cycling in another post, but that's not the focus of this blog post.

I think my wife is trying to kill me.

In her latest scheme of physical activity, Lori has planned our vacation, which we plan to do sometime next month. She wants to take the family on a canoe trip.


This is the kind of canoeing I'm used to: puttering around a lake.

I'm not talking about a vacation where we go camping and spend some days, leisurely paddling about a lake. No, the vacation is all about the journey. You see, Lori wants us to spend our vacation in a canoe, paddling from Kingston, along the Rideau River system, back to Ottawa.

Her plan is to pack up the kids and our camping supplies, rent a canoe, and drive down to Kingston with my parents. Lori, the kids, and I will pack ourselves into this canoe, leave our van for my parents to drive back to Ottawa after a lovely day in that historic town, and the four of us will paddle the 195.2 kilometres of waterway, camping along the way.

The trip is estimated to take us 11 days to complete, from Kingston Mills to the Chateau Laurier.

I love canoeing. From time to time, when we've camped in the past, we've rented a canoe and cruised around whatever lake we staked our tent at. When we've visited family at their Gatineau cottage, we've occasionally put their canoe in the lake and paddled about.

I've never used a canoe as my only mode of transportation to get home.

Lori is excited about the trip. The kids are excited. We've even started practicing, having joined the RA Centre and headed out on Meech Lake, to hone our skills. We've also completed a 5-kilometre loop at the in-laws. Much more work is required.

But this will be something for you to blog about, she tells me. Think of the photos and experience you can share.

Sure, get me where I live.

I'm nervous, much more than when I cycled to Kingston. We have the great unknown of the weather and other elements in nature. We have the safety, not only of ourselves, but of our kids. What if we get tired or injured from paddling six to eight hours a day?

I will do this trek, will be enthusiastic and will hopefully show my kids that we can do these sorts of adventures, can face these challenges.

But, I swear, my wife is trying to kill me.

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