Don't Be A Dick

It's not the conversation I wanted to have with DD15, but I'm glad she feels she can talk to me about it. I mean, after all, I get uncomfortable watching an episode of Shameless with her in the room. She had no idea of how I would react to this.

But here she was, sitting at our kitchen island, casually eating lunch with DW and me, talking about the strangers who approached her on social media, and posted pictures of their junk.

"I get dick pics all the time," she said, as a matter of fact. Like it's something that is as common as a kitten in your Twitter feed.

"Jesus," I said, "who sends those to you."

"Mostly older guys who want me to show them naked pictures of me," was her response. "They're so gross. I just block them."

"You should report them!"

"To who? What are the police going to do? These are guys with anonymous IDs."

I tried to remain calm.

"Except for..." and she gave a first name.

"What? You know him? Who is he?" I was ready to put on my winter coat and head over the the guy's house, and beat him within an inch of his life with my crutches.

"He goes to (she gave the name of his school, which is not hers). He's such an asshole." She proceeded to tell DW and me how he participates in a mutual activity.

(I'm trying to be as vague as possible, not to protect the little shit but to protect my kid.)

"You need to report him," I said.

"Then he'll be angry with me and maybe say something against me to (the teacher who oversees tryouts to this activity). I have a good chance of making it next year, unless he says something bad."

So, at an early age, DD15 doesn't want to report a guy who has been inappropriate out of fear of reprisal.

Fuck.

What is wrong with the world where a guy thinks it's okay to send pictures of his junk to someone who hasn't asked for it? When I take selfies, I delete the photo if it looks like my covered belly is sticking out too far. I don't even want to look at my own junk, so why would I want to share it?

Parents need to talk to their sons, let them know, in no uncertain terms, what is right to do on social media and what is wrong—possibly, illegal.

Boys need to know that sending a dick pic through social media is as wrong as is flashing someone in person. They need to understand that sending a photo to someone through these channels is about as private as wiggling his wang at a girl from the front of the classroom.

Most importantly, boys need to have this sort of behaviour stopped at an early age, before it becomes something they do when they are adults.

"You need to report this kid," I implored DD15. "He needs to know this behavoir is wrong. If he's participating in this activity, he should be removed from (their mutual activity). Do you still have the photo?"

"No," she said, "I deleted it and blocked him. If I keep it on my phone, can't I be charge with possession of child porn? If I show it to someone else, aren't I guilty of distributing porn?"

She really should study law. She has a sharp mind.

I couldn't answer her questions. What does someone do if they're sent a dick pic from someone they know and wants to report it? Surely, the law allows her to keep it and show someone in a position of authority, like the police?

But she had already deleted the photo. She no longer had the proof, she told me.

"Also," she added, "this was almost a year ago."

"Time doesn't matter," I told her, now feeling somewhat deflated, knowing she wouldn't want to pursue it.

It's a sad world we live in where women are the constant target of these kinds of decrepit, sorry excuses for human beings.

It makes me ashamed to be a man. But at least I can show my kids that there are decent men who know right from wrong, who don't prey on others.

Who don't show nor act like a dick.