Now, My Heart is Full

I don't know if I can explain but let me try to.

It was a warmth that came over me but it wasn't from the fire pit that was in the centre of the circle of chairs, each one occupied by a friend and their spouse. My head moved around the circle, my eyes fixing a gaze on each person's face and seeing that their eyes met mine.

A smile, and then I would move on to the next person without making it obvious that I was doing this gesture.

A friend who I had known since the sixth grade. A friend I had made in high school. Another friend, who I met on my walk to high school, in grade nine, who became my best friend and, later, my best man. And a friend who I've known since the third or fourth grade, who invited DW and me to spend the weekend, and who was hosting this reunion.

It had been eight years since DW and I were last in Guelph, Ontario, and it was the perfect end to our vacation. The weather couldn't have been better: in fact, except for a bit of rain, briefly, one morning, the whole week—the first week of autumn—was summer-like. We couldn't have chosen a better time to take our time away from home.

Our hosts in Guelph, Karen and Steve, were not only generous in opening their door to DW and me, they offered to invite our friends, who we all knew in high school, to a homemade dinner and reunion. I had avoided my high school's 50^th anniversary reunion because, I had told myself, the only people with whom I wanted to keep in touch were the very people sitting around me at this backyard dinner party.

Looking around the patio, I could see myself sitting in our student lounge (The Red Room) and seeing the younger version of these same people, and it warmed my heart.

I had seen my dear friend, Karen, and her husband, Steve, in Ottawa only about two months earlier, and DW and I made a decision to head down to Southern Ontario and pay them a visit, in Guelph. They generously offered a room to us, and we humbly accepted. They said it would be nice to see some other high-school friends, who also lived in Guelph, and I said that I would reach out to them.

I hadn't seen my best friend, Stuart, in more than five years. When I called him, it had been the first time in more than a year. But it was as though time hadn't passed at all. We laughed over how I had actually seen his wife, Alicia, less than a year ago, in Lisbon, Portugal, when DW and I were vacationing and she was at a conference.

Small world.

I last saw my friend, Ed, a couple of years ago, when he visited Ottawa to see his mother, but his wife, Renée, hadn't joined him.

The last time that all four couples had been together was in 2015, in this very backyard, the last time DW and I came through town. But on this visit, we had a surprise guest.

Though I've seen her brother, Pete, many times this year and over the years (he and his wife, Marianne, were in the same high-school year as DW and have been close friends all these years), I haven't seen Suzanne and her husband, Doug, in at least 15 years. I couldn't even remember if I had seen her since before DW and I moved to South Korea.

But it was wonderful to catch up, this weekend.

The people who attended my high school's reunion are now basically strangers to me. These folks at the reunion in Guelph are the people who mattered to me the most over those years and are the only ones who still matter to me now^*. And sitting around a fire, seeing their faces, seeing everyone engaged like time was only an abstract construct, it filled my heart.

The whole vacation was amazing. We spent time with our daughter, who now lives in Toronto. We saw friends in Toronto and Mississauga (including Mari and Pete); we met up with some of our Ottawa friends in Stratford and had three wonderful days together; and it all came to a climax at the reunion in Guelph.

I can't thank Karen and Steve enough for their warm hospitality and generosity. I wish we had more time to spend together but I know that we'll see each other again.

Soon, I hope.

^* To be absolutely clear, I do have dear friends from high school who still live in Ottawa and with whom I still keep in touch, including my friend, Nina, who joined us in Stratford with her husband, Brian. The people who matter to me know who they are.