Say Their Names

It's been 34 years.

Geneviève Bergeron 

Hélène Colgan

Nathalie Croteau

Barbara Daigneault

Anne-Marie Edward

Maud Haviernick

Maryse Laganière 

Maryse Leclair 

Anne-Marie Lemay 

Sonia Pelletier 

Michèle Richard 

Annie St-Arneault 

Annie Turcotte 

Barbara Klucznik-Widajewicz

All of them killed for simply being women. We shall remember them but we must also put a stop to violence against women. We must call out men who are abusive, who want to do harm.

That's not being a man: it's a cowardly act.

Violence against women hurts us all. On the day that we remember these 14 innocent victims at L’École Polytechnique, in Montreal, we must also think of all women who have been the target of a misogynist and say "no more!"

Say their names.

Avoiding Negative TV

During the pandemic, I've spent more than my fair share of time in front of the television, binge-watching movies and shows through the myriad streaming services that DW and I picked up over the nearly two years of being homebodies. I've looked on social media to see what shows are trending and have even taken up some of the recommendations that Netflix has offered (even though the vast majority of Netflix recommendations are as far from my tastes as is the very end of this pandemic).

One of the first series that DW and I started watching was the British show "Detectorists," which follows two friends, Lance and Andy, who share the hobby of metal detection and search the fields in their town, hoping to find a cache of hidden treasure.

It's a brilliant show. Well-written, brilliantly performed by a cracking cast, "Detectorists" is heart-warming. DW and I enjoyed it so much that we started re-watching, from the beginning, shortly after we finished the last episode of the series.

What we enjoyed about the series was that it made us feel good, and it was a welcome escape from the pandemic and all the bullshit that was going on south of the border.

Another series that we've loved and can't wait for the third season is the Apple TV+ series, "Ted Lasso." I have to admit that when it first came out, I wasn't particularly interested in watching it. I'm not much of a sports fan (though, I do like soccer and often watch FIFA matches) and I don't usually care for TV shows or movies that centre around a sports team.

But as the first season grew in popularity, I was seeing more and more of my Twitter friends raving about the show, so DW, Kid 2, and I decided to watch the first episode. That evening, we binge-watched every aired episode and got caught up for the first season. We found it hard to wait for the next episode to air. When Season 2 came out, we were ready to watch it right away and eagerly waited a week for the next episode to air (remember when all shows were watched this way?).

When it was safe to invite my parents over to our house, we suggested that they watch "Ted Lasso" (they don't have Apple TV). DW and I were happy to watch the series again. That evening, my parents were hooked and we watched the first half of the first season, and over the course of the next couple of weeks, we watched both seasons.

Like DW and me, my folks can't wait for the third season.

While I sit on my spin bike, I like to watch shows that DW doesn't seem to be interested in watching, and so I look for new shows to fill the hour that I'm working out. I had seen ads for a show that's on Prime Video, "Yellowstone," and I put the first episode on during a ride.

That first episode was the last one that I'll ever watch.

I found that there was not one single character that I liked. The main character, John Dutton, played by Kevin Costner, was utterly detestable. It didn't help that I've never felt that Costner is a particularly good actor, but his character is particularly loathsome, seemingly living on greed and having no regard for the lives of others.

The first episode was full of violence and left me feeling stressed. "No thanks," I said aloud as the episode ended and the countdown started for the next one.

I don't mind conflict in my TV shows but I find that I don't have an appetite for violence, especially when the violence is driven by selfishness and over a battle for territory.

There's enough of that in the real world.

At a time when I can't go out with my friends, when the pandemic is limiting what I can do, I need to be lifted up by what I see on the TV screen. Two years into this pandemic, I want to avoid any more negativity in my life. Especially when I'm trying to escape what's going on in real life.

Which shows do you like to watch? Leave your TV recommendations in the Comments section.

Positive shows only, please.

Face Dance

I could see stars racing across my vision. Sounds from the surrounding crowd were muffled, as though I was wearing noise-cancelling headphones. Things around me began to slow down and the light of the day seemed to dim toward night.

I had to stay on my feet, though the pressure in my head felt as though I was going to explode.

Then, for some inexplicable reason, the beating stopped.

And the main show hadn't even begun...

My friends and I were going to make this show, even though we hadn't worked out all of the details. We had waited for hours to purchase our tickets but getting from Ottawa to Toronto was another matter.

It was the fall of 1982, and The Who had announced that they were on their final tour. They were travelling across North America but only had three Canadian dates, all in Toronto. In fact, the two final shows, on December 16 and December 17, were to end the tour—the band's final farewell.

My friends and I chose to go to the first date, on October 9. We had just started grade 12 and the earlier date was better for us. In December, we would be into our midterm exams.

But it still came down to getting to Toronto, to the CNE Stadium. We looked at the price of round-trip tickets by bus, but the price was almost as much as the concert tickets. We asked parents, but no one was interested in driving the nearly five hours, waiting around for the show to end, and then driving another five hours to get home.

And then the solution came to us. A free solution.

A mutual friend, who had also purchased a ticket, had arranged passage on a chartered bus for people with disabilities. This friend had recently had a catastrophic accident and was confined to a wheelchair.

Her solution was simple: my other friends and I were to help the disabled people get on and off the handicap bus, and help get these folks to an area that was designated for them. By assisting these people, our passage was free.

Done.

It was a Magic Bus, of sorts.

As soon as we were on the highway to Toronto, the party began. A cooler full of ice-cold beer was opened. Joints were lit up. Music was cranked up. My friends and I were invited to partake. By the time we reached Toronto, we were feeling no pain at all.

That, for me, would come later.

We wheeled the disabled folk to their private area, and we were free to either stay or head down to general admission, as our tickets were designated. A couple of people stayed; a few others, like me, made our way down to the field of CNE Stadium, looking to get closer to the stage and to a better vantage to see The Who.

I was able to get quite close to the stage, just a little to the right. The tower of speakers was facing me, but I determined that they wouldn't block my view of the performers.

As the showtime drew close, more and more filled the ground around me. I could feel the heat off the other bodies, smell the sweat, mixed with booze and weed. Because I wasn't a tall person, I was worried that my view might soon become obstructed by other fans. Every time there was a surge in the crowd, I would inch my way a little closer to the stage.

It was at this point that I realized that I had lost my friends, that I was alone in a sea of humans.

Joe Jackson and his band were the opening act. His latest album, Night and Day, had been released earlier that year, and it was the album that really made me a fan. Before then, I liked "Fools In Love," but that was about it.

Jackson's performance was amazing, but unfortunately his act was badly matched for this audience. Despite the solid sound, many in the crowd were shouting for The Who, telling Jackson to get off the stage, and even began to boo.

I have never felt so ashamed of a crowd at a concert in all my days.

It was when some asshole in the crowd threw an empty bottle at the band that the music abruptly stopped. The guitarist screamed "That was fucking stupid, you cunt," and the band stormed offstage. Sadly, the mob mentality led to huge cheers at the vacated stage.

It also meant that we had more time to wait, without entertainment, before the main event.

The crowd packed tighter. I was sweating from the heat, realizing that I had no water to drink. This was going to be a long, brutal show.

And then things got worse.

He was jumping up and down, hooting at the stage as though the music had begun. His arms were raised above him and I realized that he was incredibly tall.

He was stoned, or drunk, or perhaps a little of both. But he sure seemed to be having a good time.

Just as quickly as I took notice of him, however, things changed. His left arm came down and wrapped itself around my neck, holding me in a grip that left me utterly immobile. His right arm also came down and proceeded to beat the right side of my face, between my ear and my cheek.

Surprisingly, no one else moved. No one intervened. The people directly in front of me, their backs to me, seemed oblivious to what was going on behind them.

He was hitting me over and over again, and I couldn't move. The right side of my face was becoming unbearably hot. Stars raced across my vision. Sounds from the surrounding crowd were fading, becoming muffled. All motion around me began to slow down and the daylight of that October afternoon seemed to dim toward nighttime.

I was beginning to lose consciousness. Another couple of hits and I would be hitting the ground. I had to stay on my feet, I told myself.

And then, as quickly as it started, it stopped. The punches, the arm around my neck.

My assailant had swung in front of me. Was he moving to the other side to work on the left side of my face? Had his right arm become sore and he wanted to switch to his left arm?

I looked at him, standing in front of me: blue denim overalls, a white t-shirt underneath. A massive head of brown curls. His eyes were a pale blue and seemed vacant, as though the drugs or booze were the only things keeping him conscious.

I had to act fast. My head was throbbing and couldn't take any more. As soon as he was directly in front of me, I swung a leg upward, as fast as I could and with as much force as I could muster. My foot landed squarely between his legs.

He sucked in air and began to double forward, but before he could completely bend down, I punched him straight in the throat. The force of the blow sent him falling backward, between the two people, in front of me, who until that moment had no idea that a fight had begun.

I didn't wait to see him hit the ground. I didn't wait to see how badly hurt he was. I spun around and dove into the crowd. I fell to the ground and crawled as best as I could, between the forest of legs. I made it as far as I could, until hands reached down and picked me up.

I was afraid that it was my assailant, but it seemed to be caring hands that didn't wish to see me trampled. When I was on my feet, I saw the worried eyes, mostly looking at the right side of my face.

"All you all right?" I was asked. I looked around, trying to see if my attacker was coming after me, but he was nowhere in sight.

"I think so," I panted.

An ice-cold can of Molson Canadian was put in my hand. "Press that to your face," I heard, and did as I was told. I could feel that my face was swollen. The heat was reacting strongly to the cold. My head was pounding, the blood inside pulsing through my face, filling my ear with a whoosh... whoosh... whoosh...

A roar from the crowd made me look up. I was a little further back from the stage but more centered. I had a clear view as Kenney Jones, John Entwistle, Pete Townsend, and Roger Daltrey, took to the stage. "My Generation" was the first number.

I became lost in the show, catching my breath and being regenerated, though my head was sore. But I was at The Who's final tour, and I wasn't about to let a beating detract from the experience.

I still had the unopened can of beer when the show was over, when I made my way back to our bus home. I had made it back before my friends, because they were helping our disabled hosts back. The driver was sitting outside the bus on a folding chair. He had a cooler full of soda. I traded the beer for a cold can of Coke, again applying it to my face.

My best friend eventually found me, as he continued to help others. "What happened to your face?" he asked. I recounted the story as we pulled out of the stadium parking lot, on our trip back to Ottawa, until fatigue got the better of me and I drifted asleep.

Despite the loud music, sounds of beer cans cracking open, and the smell of weed wafting around me.

I had heard "Magic Bus" at the show. Now, another magic bus was bringing me home.

Paradise Lost

It was the best city for a kid of my generation, growing up.

I could hop on my bike and pedal anywhere my legs would take me. I would roll through the town houses where I once lived to meet up with my friends, who still lived in that development off Chesterton Drive. My family had moved out of those town houses but didn't stray far, had gone to a bigger house on Chesterton.

We would bike through Parkwood Hills, down the steep hill of Tiverton Drive, along Meadowlands to Prince of Wales Drive, ending up at the little plaza where we would pick up snacks at the Becker's convenience store (now a Mac's), or get ice cream at the Baskin Robbin's (now gone), or, when we wanted a full meal, at the MacDonald's.

I often rode my bike on my own, would go through Hog's Back Park, follow the path that led to Vincent Massey Park, past Billings Bridge, and let that path take me all the way, following the Rideau River, to downtown. The Byward Market, War Memorial, NAC, then along the canal to the Arboretum, Carleton University, and then back up to Hog's Back and home.

Ottawa was safe when I was a kid. I could do that and not once be worried about my safety, beyond the few cars I encountered downtown. I stuck to many side streets, where I was given lots of space.

Ottawa isn't safe anymore. Not for my kids. I wouldn't want them to cycle the distances I did. Stabbings in the Byward Market. Murder outside the MacDonald's near Hog's Back. A shooting in the townhouses off Chesterton Drive.

It's been a record year for shootings and we just saw our twenty-second homicide. Not a lot, by many city standards, but for Ottawa, it's a lot.

I never thought I'd worry about this city. Growing up here for most of my life, this was a kid's paradise. But now, it seems lost.