Showing posts with label Dark Water. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dark Water. Show all posts

Friday, August 29, 2025

Friday Fiction: Prologue for a New Story

If I had known that writing crime novels would give me so much joy, I would have started writing them decades ago.

I had so much fun writing Dark Water that I couldn't wait to start the next book in what I hope will become a series: The Calloway and Hayes Mysteries. I have ideas flooding my head, often keeping me up at night, but I love it.

A few days after finishing the first draft of Dark Water, I started coming up with a new case, which is set mostly in Ottawa's ByWard Market. This story is even darker than the first novel, with many layers. There's a serial killer in Ottawa and ritualistic murders, but are they actually related?

As I said, last week, I've even come up with a title for the next book: The Watcher. And this week, I started laying out the outline for the story. As with Dark Water, I have spreadsheets and notes, with characters and plot lines, and I'm taking what I learned from the first book to be even more organized the second time around.

I've even written a rough draft of the prologue for The Watcher, which I've decided to share with you. But I need to set it up a bit, first.

In Dark Water, we learn that Detective Sergeant Erin Hayes moved to Ottawa after a promotion from the Niagara Regional Police Services. She had never even been to Ottawa before this transfer, so she's getting used to the city at the same time that she's settling into her new position with her new team.

Hayes lives in an apartment building in the Lincoln Heights area, her unit overlooking Mud Lake and the Ottawa River. On the nights that she can get home at a decent hour, she likes to change into something comfortable, pour herself a glass of wine, and sit on her balcony to enjoy the sunset.

Hayes lives with two roommates who are also OPS employees. Becca Pierson is a communications operator (dispatcher) and Maya Rahman is a patrol constable. The three often work hours that seldom sees them together in the apartment.

The Watcher begins on a rare night when the three have a Friday night off, together, and they decide to hit the ByWard Market. And that's where the story begins...

***

The rhythm of the bass and percussion followed them into the night air of the ByWard Market. Even at one in the morning, the streets were alive. Laughter echoed from the patios that still clung to their last customers, whilst taxis idled at curbsides, headlights cutting through the smoke that was curling from a nearby shawarma stand. The air held the sharp scent of gin and cigarettes, twisting together with the sweetness of fried dough from the Beaver Tails stall, its workers starting the shutdown for the night. The rise and fall of drunken voices, the clatter of bottles dumped into recycle bins by weary bartenders. Pooling light from streetlamps carved bright islands that contrasted the dark alleys that were to be avoided. A gentle breeze carried a quieter rhythm amid the careless laughter and echoing footsteps—an invisible patience in the air, like something holding its breath just beyond the reach of a neon glow.

The heavy club doors swung shut behind them, muffling the throb of music until it was nothing more than a pulse of memory. Becca Pierson was the tallest of the trio, her black dress shimmering faintly under the jaundiced streetlights, long legs moving with a confidence that was sharpened by heels. She tilted her head back as she laughed, light-brown waves of hair spilling over her shoulders, her giggle colored by the cocktails she had downed, inside. Maya Rahman walked beside her; shorter but solid, every step purposeful even after three vodka sodas. Her pink skirt caught and released the glow of passing headlights, and she tugged absently at the hem of her sleeveless blouse, smirking at Becca’s retelling of some clumsy pickup attempt. Erin Hayes trailed less than a half-pace behind, her sequined red dress catching moving light like embers. There was nothing loose or sloppy in her gaze, not even with the haze of tequila. She watched her friends with a warmth that softened the detective’s usual edge.

Image: Perplexity

All three were laughing, shoulders brushing close as a warm breeze swept the humid, summer night air. They carried themselves with a mix of loosened joy and the quiet gravity of women who lived their waking hours inside the machinery of Ottawa crime. Tonight, though, they were only three friends in the Market, teasing one another about desperate men and bad pickup lines.

They didn’t see the still figure across the street, the one who noticed them first for their laughter, then for the way the light caught their hair, and finally through the lens of a camera raised from a shadow.

Behind him, beyond the reach of laughter and neon, the chocolatier’s shop sat as if abandoned. Its window displays—rows of truffles, glossy pralines, brittle wrapped in gold foil—were now only vague shapes in the dark, dulled by the sheen of glass. Inside, the sweetness that usually hung in the air had curdled under the weight of silence.

On the tiled floor between the display cases lay the owner, her body carefully placed, as though she had been gently lowered rather than violently killed. Her arms rested neatly at her sides, her face turned up, expression softened into something almost serene, as if she were only sleeping amidst her creations. Around her, deliberate patterns had been scrawled and arranged: carefully positioned objects and markings that broke the order of the shop with unsettling precision. The symbols seemed to radiate outward, framing her in an unnatural tableau.

The harmony of the arrangement made the scene more chilling—not a crime of passion, but one of patience and intent, every detail calibrated. Had anyone been standing above her, they would have recognized that this was not simply a body, but a message waiting to be read.

Outside, the Market carried on with its noise and chaos, blind to the quiet horror concealed just one pane of glass away, reflecting the three women as they climbed into their hired HOVR ride and made their way out of the ByWard Market.

***

As of writing this blog post, I've also written the first five chapters of the story (writing crime fiction has become an addiction) but that'll be it for at least a couple of weeks, if not longer. Today, DW and I left for a vacation, where I expect to be offline for many days.

When we return, in the second week of September, I'm hopeful to have feedback from my Dark Water readers, and I'll start work on the third and final draft before submitting the manuscript for edits and, fingers crossed, publishing.

Only when I've sent Dark Water of to the printers will I devote my full attention to The Watcher.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, August 21, 2025

More Changes

I know, I seem to be talking about nothing but my novel, lately, and with good cause. Ever since I lost my job, working on my crime story has been my new day job and I sit at the same desk over the same daytime hours as I did when I was working from home.

I just don't get paid to be here.

Putting in close to 40 hours each week writing Dark Water is what allowed me to finish the first draft in such a short period of time. And, unlike my old job, this book has given me a great deal of joy. I had a lot of fun putting the story together.

(I was really good at my old job but to say I had fun or that it gave me joy is a stretch. It paid the bills and allowed me to enjoy the rest of my life.)

I'm now at a point in the writing process where I've started reading my book and making corrections to the grammar, spelling, and other errors. In reading just the first two paragraphs of the prologue, I realized that I had left out something from the epilogue, and used that morning to add the new content. I then started from be beginning and read through the story.

By the end, I had cut some material, added new material, and corrected existing material. I also made notes of things that I needed to research more and made sure I had followed all of the clues that the detectives discovered.

And, after reading, I walked away from the book for the weekend.

As I wrote, a couple of days ago, I made some changes to one of the detectives, Erin Hayes. Using an advanced AI search engine, I was able to make her more believable, even if that meant she was knocked down in rank.

At the beginning of this week, I started reading Dark Water a second time, and by the second chapter, I decided to make a major structural change. And this change took me the entire day.

When I started writing the outline, I wanted to structure the book so that each chapter was an entire day, with the exception of the prologue, which spans two days (it's short), and the first and second chapters, which were one day but from the perspective of different people.

The problem with keeping one day per chapter was that the chapters became very long. Some were as many as 60 8.5 x 11 pages, which translated into 80 paperback pages or more. I used asterisks (*) to denote scene breaks, hoping they would make it easy on a reader, but I decided that I need to give up my one-chapter-per-day structure.

So I went through each chapter and broke it up where I thought the scene change warranted a new chapter. Some chapters are as long as 14 pages while a few are as short as one or two pages. After I restructured the book, I've ended up with 58 chapters, a prologue, and an epilogue.

I'm hoping that it is now easier to read: I'm currently going through my first reading with this new structure so I hope I made the right decision.

When I demoted Erin Hayes, I made her a Detective Sergeant, which is still a fast track for someone her age, but I thought I'd need to create a backstory that explains her rise in the ranks. This involved me creating another crime story, which actually came pretty quickly, though I find the crime-fiction genre to be my calling (more on that, tomorrow).

Without giving too much away, Hayes is known as the Detective Constable who cracked the Jackpot Kidnappings case, which had reached international recognition. By the time she is promoted and transferred to the Ottawa Police Services, Mickey Calloway had heard of the Jackpot Kidnappings.

While I was brainstorming for Hayes' backstory, I took a look at the image that I had AI generate, a few months ago, of our two detectives. I had already generated a new image of Hayes, alone, which I used for my blog post about her demotion. It's perfect in its depiction of my "ridiculously beautiful" detective and I won't be generating any more.

The new Calloway (Perplexity)

But I've always thought that the AI image of Calloway was too 'Hollywood' in its portrayal of my lead male detective. Calloway is huge (two metres tall and broad) and has an imposing look about him, but he can be as gentle as he is tough.

I wanted to create a less-perfect image of him, so after attaching the old picture of Hayes and Calloway into Perplexity, I asked the AI tool to make him less 'TV-ready' and to give him a more human appearance.

The image gives him a softer, more rounded face, though I believe that when he wants to look intimidating, he can. The new image also has him appear like he would be a good dad, and that's how I've written Calloway.

So this picture is also a keeper.

Someone asked me, in an earlier Comments section, if I would not use a human graphics artist for my book cover, and they are right. When Dark Water is eventually published, I will seek out a graphic designer (or the publishing company will).

When I had Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary published, the publishers offered a few cover designs from which I could choose. I assumed they had a few stock covers and suggested the most suitable ones for me to inspect. I chose the cover it ended up getting.

I've created these AI images to use as ideas for a cover, and I would show them to the graphics designer as a template. In the meantime, I've created them to use in my blog posts. They were never intended as a final book cover.

I continue to go through the manuscript and make changes as needed. I'm still several weeks away from submitting it to an editor, so there's lots of work ahead of me.

I hope you're not bothered by me sharing my thought process and status of the book. In fact, I hope that I'm building anticipation, so that when Dark Water is finally published, you'll be interested enough to want to buy a copy.

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, August 19, 2025

A Demotion

Now that the first draft of Dark Water is done, I've started looking at the story and the characters with a more critical eye. I want my eventual readers to believe that the story is plausible.

For the first draft, I did a lot of Googling and asked ChatGPT a lot of questions. In roundabout ways, without sharing excerpts of scenes, I would describe scenarios that reflected the content of the story and ask the AI tool if what I described was realistic.

More times than not, Chat GPT would chime in with a positive assessment of that scenario, to the extent that I thought it was a yes-bot. Its responses would be encouraging, starting with a "that's a great idea and really develops your (character/plot) well."

If there was something that didn't go well, the AI tool would still give me encouragement but would offer a suggestion that would "tweak" my scenario. Never once did it tell me that I was wrong or unrealistic.

Now that I'm trying a new search engine, Perplexity, I'm being given a dose of reality.

I've been told that I'm not being realistic on one important piece of my story and that my audience would have a rough time believing it, especially if the reader knows anything about the police.

As you might know from following my posts about Dark Water, the two main detectives in the story are Inspector Michael 'Mickey' Calloway and Inspector Erin Hayes. What you may not know is anything about the characters, themselves, as I have kept most of the story out of my blog posts (I've shared the first chapter and the story synopsis in other blog posts but want to keep the overall story quiet).

But I feel I can tell you about the main characters without spoiling anything.

Calloway is 50 years old and a seasoned veteran in the Ottawa Police Serious Crimes Unit. He's lived in Ottawa his whole life and is married, with a teenage daughter.

Hayes (image: Perplexity)

His partner, who is a hard-working officer, was steadily promoted up the ranks from the Niagara Regional Police. When a vacancy opened at the OPSCU, Hayes was recommended by the NRP top brass. Hayes is only 28 when she was promoted to the rank of Inspector.

When I developed Hayes, I did searches on the rank structure with the OPS, checking Wikipedia, Google, and ChatGPT. I learned that making Hayes an Inspector at 28 was a steep climb but possible.

Now that I'm going through my book with a more critical eye, I thought I would test out Perplexity by describing Hayes and giving her the rank I have written. And Perplexity was brutally honest.

It told me that there's no way that a 28-year-old, even joining a police force at 19, would reach the rank of Inspector in that timeframe. It worked out what would be needed to get to that rank, and the youngest that Hayes could be was in her early to mid 30s.

I then gave the search engine more to work with. I told it the age that Hayes finishes high school (18) and to map out what she would have to do to get hired at the Niagara Regional Police. I also asked it to figure out what rank she could be in order to be brought on to the OPS as a highly recommended candidate to join the Homicide Unit.

Perplexity showed me the sources that it accessed to glean the information and I was impressed. It accessed the OPS Web site as well as the NRP site. It looked at sites that support Ontario Police Officers Association. It referenced various news articles from across the province.

Hayes would have had to go to university or college to obtain a three-year degree or diploma, preferably in in criminology, psychology, sociology, or policing studies. While in university or college, she would volunteer with community organizations (such as police auxiliaries and victim services) and/or work in security and crime prevention to gain relevant experience.

I'm not going to list everything that Hayes would have to do, but she'd also have to attend Police College, get hired after graduation, be on probation for a year, and then go through the ranks. Assuming she's a hard-working, dedicated officer—and I've created her such that she becomes a rock star at NRP—by the time she reaches 27, she could plausibly earn the rank of Detective Constable (a rank I didn't see in my previous searches of OPS ranks, though I recognize the rank in many detective novels I've read), also sometimes working as an Acting Detective Sergeant.

By the time she hits 28, when she applies for the position at the OPS Homicide Unit and receives glowing endorsement from the brass at the NRP, Hayes could be promoted to Detective Sergeant.

That's where I'm going to put her in my re-writes. And while I made up the Serious Crimes Unit for the OPS and named other divisions by their real names (the Drug Unit, for example, comes up), I may use the real name of Homicide Unit in the book, to distinguish it from the Guns and Gangs Unit and other departments that handle other serious crimes; though, in doing so, I'm going to have to make other changes to Calloway's past cases (one, that haunts him through this story).

Yes, it's a demotion from the rank I gave her but Google and ChatGPT didn't give me the depth of ranks that Perplexity gave me. DS Hayes has a certain ring to it, anyway.

I have ideas for Calloway and Hayes, and I've written a post for Friday that will explain what I have in store. While Calloway is exactly where he needs to be, hoping to someday become the Superintendent of his department, giving Hayes the rank of Detective Sergeant allows for a lot of growth of her character.

Stay tuned.

Monday, August 18, 2025

Perplexed

AI really struggles with direction. And it can't count.

Months ago, when I was playing with ideas about a cover for my crime novel, "Dark Water," I described the Vimy Memorial Bridge that spans the Rideau River in Ottawa's south end and wanted ChatGPT to create the image such that there was a woman in the river, floating face-down.

The AI tool created a random bridge, crossing the Ottawa River, below Parliament Hill. Buildings in the background didn't match Ottawa's downtown core, but most importantly, the woman was floating face-up in the river.

I wrote about this struggle with AI when I was still just sussing out my story.

It took some time, between breaks in my writing, to come up with an image that was passable, though I wasn't sold on it as a possible cover when it came time to publish my book. And every once and awhile, when I took a break from writing, I'd experiment with other covers.

When I finished writing the first draft of "Dark Water," I wanted to wait a few days before I would read what I had. I wrote the final sentence in the epilogue on a Thursday and started the reading and editing process on the following Monday.

On that Friday, I thought I'd have another go at designing a cover, using ChatGPT. Here's the information that I gave it:

Create a book cover for my murder mystery using the bridge in the attached photo. The angle of view would be below the water, underneath the bridge, looking upward. In the water, floating on the surface, is a woman who is dressed in blue jeans and a black jacket. She has long, red hair that partially hides her face. She is faced down in the water.

I gave ChatGPT the following attachment photo:


Here's what the AI took came back with:


It wasn't even close to what I had described. First, it made up a title that I hadn't provided (ant the kerning sucks). Also, the woman is lying on the shore or on a dry river bed (I admit that the photo I provided shows the water at a low level). I gave the prompt more instructions.

Remove the title. The angle of view should be underwater, looking up at the woman. It's morning, so light shines down, placing the woman in a partial silhouette.


The result was better but Vimy Bridge now only had two arches that were more round. The woman was fine but for a body floating at the surface, her legs seemed to be too low (I've luckily never seen a dead person floating in water, before, so I don't know how accurate that angle is).

Once more, I gave ChatGPT more instruction:

Much better. Make three arches on the bridge and make the angle of view such that the audience is below the woman, looking up at her. The bridge is visible through the water. Have the woman laying more prone on the surface, such that her legs are closer to the water surface. She should also be wearing shoes.


Okay, so the victim now had shoes. And was more prone. But the bridge still had two arches. Also, for the character of Emily Fraser, I imagined her hair much longer.

I decided to go into a much longer, detailed description of my image idea, so wrote this:

Create a realistic, cinematic-style murder mystery book cover for Dark Water by Ross Brown. Underwater view, looking upward toward the water’s surface and a large steel bridge with three arches. The arches are elongated (more stretched than semi-circular) and clearly visible through the water, above. Morning light streams down through the water, casting soft beams that illuminate the scene. Floating face-down on the surface is a woman with very long, flowing red hair that spreads out in the water. She is wearing blue jeans, a black jacket, and shoes. Her back and most of her legs are close to the surface so they catch the light, creating a partial silhouette effect. The camera angle is from directly below the woman, looking up toward her and the bridge above. The water is a deep, clear blue-green with gentle ripples and light shimmer on the surface. The cover should create a tense, mysterious, and haunting mood, blending realism with cinematic drama.

There, that aught to do it. I pressed Enter and got the following message:

You’ve hit the free plan limit for image generation requests, so I can’t create that cover right now. Your limit will reset in about 23 hours — once it does, you can paste the exact prompt you’ve written and the AI should render your scene exactly as described.

Ffff... !

Fine, I thought. I had been spending too much time on this and it wasn't productive. I moved onto other things around the house telling myself I'd try again sometime on Saturday night.

On Saturday, I worked on my Peru video, which ate up most of the afternoon and evening. But I did take a break, late in the evening, and posed the same query to ChatGPT. It responded,

I still can’t generate it yet — your free plan image limit hasn’t reset. Once it does, you’ll be able to paste that Dark Water prompt directly and get the cover.

If you want, I can keep your final prompt and have it ready so you can drop it in the instant your reset hits. That way you don’t lose time retyping everything.

Do you want me to store it here for you in a clean, copy-ready format?

Bloody hell. I told the AI tool to store the prompt and told myself that I'd try again on Monday.

At the start of the week, I prompted ChatGPT once again, copying its clean copy into the prompt. I still wasn't able to get my image. Nor on Tuesday. Nor Thursday.

On Friday, I received an e-mail from Bell, which informed me that it was offering me a free one-year subscription to the AI-powered search engine, Perplexity Pro. It was a $249 value.

I thought, what the hell, why not, and downloaded the promo code. I entered a reminder at the beginning of August, next year, to cancel the subscription.

By then, I thought, ChatGPT might let me generate an image again.

I copied the prompt from ChatGPT and entered it into Perplexity, with a few changes and a new image of the Vimy Bridge. I also gave a suggestion for the font style for the title. Here's what the new AI tool gave me:


Honestly, it wasn't bad for a first attempt. But Fraser's legs were still too low for my liking, she seemed to be much deeper in the water, and she was facing away from the viewer. Plus, it seemed as though Fraser had two right hands. Also, I didn't imagine Fraser's hair in a ponytail, so I added the following suggestion to the AI tool:

Place the bridge such that it doesn't look like it's underwater and is diffused by the water. Make the woman more prone, as she is floating on the surface of the water. She should be facing the camera and her hair is not tied back, but is floating wildly about her head.

Here is what Perplexity gave me for its second attempt.


Obviously, there are a couple of issues with this image. Vimy Bridge has only two arches, just as ChatGPT had given it. Fraser was floating on her back with her face visible, and was viewed from the side. Her hair was also shorter than I wanted for my character. And what happened to the title?

Admittedly, I didn't specify to hide Fraser's face so I added a new prompt:

Turn the woman so that she is face-down in the water. Make her hair longer. The back of her head touches the water surface, such that someone who sees her from above the water believes that she could be an animal. Also, you have changed the bridge such that it is now missing an arch: there should be three. And place the title and author as described, above.


Everything about this image is perfect, except for the subject. Fraser is not at the water surface and she is twisted in a bizarre way: her legs and feet are facing in different directions such that it's hard to tell which way she is facing, and she has two right legs. You can't see all of the arches of the bridge but from this angle, it doesn't matter.

Growing frustrated, I tried one more time:

Keep everything in the last image the same but start over with the woman: she is floating face-down at the surface. She has very long, flowing red hair that spreads out around her head. She is wearing blue jeans, a black jacket, and shoes. Her back and most of her legs are close to the surface so they catch the light, creating a partial silhouette effect. The camera angle is from directly below the woman, looking up toward her and the bridge above.


AI struggles with direction and can't count. Fraser is facing away from the viewer. Also, the bridge doesn't have quite the right amount of arches.

Last chance:

Keep everything the same but move the woman so that her head is toward the camera, her body trailing off behind.


I give up.

When and if my book gets published, I'll let the publisher worry about the cover. I'll have some mock-ups prepared but I can't rely on AI to give me a good cover.

I don't know if I'll keep Perplexity, though I have ideas for more Calloway and Hayes books, so I'll see about using the tool to help me with enhanced searches and whether it's any better than ChatGPT.

Happy Monday!

Tuesday, August 12, 2025

The Review Process

A cover concept I'm exploring.
Unlike Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary, where I was retelling my own experiences with a fictional character, Dark Matter is entirely made up and I have to keep track of what I had written at the beginning of the story so that if something comes up, later, I have my story straight.

Detectives, after all, like to have facts neatly tied up.

Now that I've completed the first draft of my crime novel, I've started re-reading it to make sure it flows well. And I'm finding that going back to the beginning has raised questions.

Yesterday, I read the prologue, which is only six pages long. And within the first two paragraphs, I realized that I had left something out of the epilogue, which sort of brings the story full-circle.

And so, I spent the morning writing that content for the ending.

After lunch, I started at the beginning of the prologue again and realized I had some contradictions. I also wanted to fact-check something that I had quickly written on my first day. That took about a half an hour to sort out.

It took me the rest of the afternoon to get through the six pages and I was tired, though satisfied that the opening to the novel is ready for a bona fide editor. I don't need to work on it anymore.

But I did make a list of things that came out in the prologue that I will use, going forward, to make sure they're covered later in the story. They are small points but are clues that the detectives should follow up on.

I think the re-read and potential changes will take some time to complete, after which I'll likely read the story one more time, without stopping, to make sure I'm happy enough to send the manuscript to an editor.

Otherwise, I'll start the re-reading process all over again.

I do have DW, my biggest critic, plus some friends who have offered to read the rough draft and give me their honest opinion, so I think I'm on the right path. With any luck, the final draft will be ready by the end of September.

If you're a writer—especially one who writes mysteries—what are your techniques for getting your book editor-ready? Do you have a system that works? Let me know.

Hopefully, I'll be able to get through the book faster as I move along. When I worked as a technical writer and editor, I was able to edit 20 or so pages per day, depending on the content. I'm used to moving faster.

Happy Tuesday!

Friday, August 8, 2025

Done (But Not Done-Done)

It came down to being a numbers game.

One of my karaoke friends had me thinking about how many pages I had written for Dark Water, my crime novel. When I started writing the story, I was quite enthusiastic about it, averaging about 20 or so pages per week.

When I hit the 100-page milestone, I was quite excited.

But every time I met up with my karaoke group, one of my friends would ask the same question: "How many pages have you written?" And over time, that question started putting some unintended pressure on me.

When I set out to write my first-ever murder mystery, I gave the page count a thought. The book wasn't going to be as long as Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary, which is 440 pages. Dark Water, I thought, might be about 250 pages.

Through my writing process, I would go backwards many times as I discovered new clues and as characters changed. I had already outlined the whole story before I even wrote the first chapter, so the structure was there: I just needed to fill in details.

Side note: writing this novel was a lot of fun.

But after I hit 120 pages, I seemed to slow down a lot. I focused more on the legal procedures and researching what was realistic and plausible than the actual unfolding of the story.

It was all necessary but I was producing fewer pages.

The last time I saw my karaoke friends, I was asked about my page count, and I said that I was about 165 pages in. My friend then said, "Isn't that where you were the last time we saw each other?"

I don't think he meant to be hurtful with his comment but it did sting a bit. Yes, I wasn't writing as many pages at my initial pace, but I was making progress.

Last weekend, when DW and I were talking about Dark Water and she had asked me if I had Googled the title to see if there was a similar book out there, she also asked me if I had ever done a word count, rather than a page count.

She had an excellent point. Most publishers are more interested in the word count than the page count: depending on how the book is formatted, pages can differ. And I had been writing my book in Google Docs, which is formatted for an 8.5-inch by 11-inch page, which is bigger than a paperback page.

This week, as I was at about page 175 of Google Docs pages, I felt that I was coming to the climax of the novel, where the killer is revealed. But 175 was short of my 250-page goal. So I decided to do as DW suggested and perform a word count.

The 175 pages that I had written contained 74,416 words.

I did some online digging, and a typical crime novel ranges from 50,000 to 90,000 words. I was in the sweet spot, with a few more pages to go.

Another inquiry taught me that with my word count, I had written anywhere from 270 to 300 pages in an average paperback book. That information got me very excited.

The next day, I was writing full speed on the conclusion of Dark Water. And yesterday, I finished it. Or, rather, the first draft.

The final count is 79,600 words over 184 standard pages, or about 290 to 320 paperback pages. 

In under five months, I have written my first crime novel. It took much less time than that, actually, with our family trip to Peru, a few weeks of editing photos and putting together videos for YouTube, and general distractions that kept me from writing. It would be fair to say it took less than four months to write this book.

I'm done but I'm not done-done.

The next step is to read and revise. But because I had done several revisions over the past couple of months, I don't think I'll have a lot to do before I feel the book is ready to send to an editor.

Wish me luck.

Wednesday, August 6, 2025

Other Dark Waters

I've decided to share a Google Drive folder that contains all of my chapters for my novel, Dark Water, with DW. I've asked her to read my rough draft and provide any feedback.

She loves crime fiction and could tell me if the story makes sense and let me know if I've missed anything.

Over the weekend, we were talking about my novel (she already knows the plot and who the killer is) and she asked me, "Have you ever done a search to see if the title of your book has already been used?"

"There's no copyright on book titles," I told her.

"I know, but wouldn't it be confusing if someone else wrote a crime novel with that title?"

It was a good question.

When I thought of it, I wouldn't have been surprised if someone else had come up with the title, Dark Water. It was a pretty common term and with the word Dark, it would make for a sinister title, so I decided to search book titles that are available through Chapters-Indigo, our Canadian chain bookstore.

Sure enough, there's another crime novel with that title.

There's also a romance novel called Beneath Dark Waters, a Canadian, general-fiction novel called The Tears of Dark Water, a Canadian sci-fi/fantasy book, Dark Water Daughter, and many more that use variations on "Dark Water."

Another novel, Dark Water, by J.A. Armitage, is a fairy-tale story. I don't think there will be any confusion with my novel.

But I'm curious about the crime novel, Dark Water, written by British author Robert Bryndza. As the synopsis states, the main detective in the novel receives a tip about drugs being stashed in a disused quarry outside of London. The drugs are key to a major narcotics case.

When the drugs are located, the skeletal remains of a missing young girl are also discovered. She has been missing for more than 26 years.

So it doesn't look like my book, which involves a dead CBC reporter, her missing fiancé, and an investigative story that would shake up Ottawa City Hall, is similar to Bryndza's book. Yes—SPOILER ALERT—there are references to drugs in my book and a quarry plays a minor role (my quarry is not disused), but they're pretty common elements to crime novels.

But to make extra-sure, I've checked out an e-book copy from the library and I've started reading it. Let's see if there are more similarities than a mere title.

Dark Water was initially used as a place-holder for my book, but as I got more into the story, I started thinking of a final title less and less, and the place-holder has grown on me. But I'm not married to it.

No, who I am married to is about to start proof reading my first draft, giving me her thoughts. I've also asked her to think of an alternative title, in case I feel I need to change mine.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 24, 2025

The Homestretch

I've never written a book this quickly before.

Usually, it takes me years to write a novel. It took nearly 10 years to write Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary; it took about three years to write my teen fiction, JT (I even wrote some of it while I was living in South Korea); and it took more than two years to write my first spy novel, The Spy's The Limit.

Heck, I started writing the sequel to Songsaengnim in 2010, two years before the first book was even published, and I still haven't finished Gyeosunim.

In March of this year, I told DW that it was time that I started a new novel. Perhaps, I would even put my blog on hiatus once again to devote time to writing fiction. I told her that I'd like to try my hand at a murder mystery, and that weekend, as we drove down to Toronto to visit with Kid 2 and some dear friends, I started thinking of a good murder.

The Monday after I returned from that weekend, I was laid off from work after 19 years with the company. And I saw it as a sign.

Instead of taking a break from The Brown Knowser, I used the hours that I usually spent doing technical writing to write my fiction. And it has been working out really well.

For the first five weeks, I was averaging 20 pages per week, and that included a day of editing the new content. By the time our family left for our Peru vacation, I had more than 100 pages written.

In the past two months since we've been back in Canada, I haven't been writing at the same pace but I've always been moving forward. Some weeks, I'd simply research legal procedures and gather information about the Ottawa Police Services (the story is set in Ottawa). I even looked into criminal activities, online, hoping I wouldn't raise any alarms and have the police knocking on my door.

I'm more than 160 pages into the story and feel that it'll be wrapped up in about another 100 or fewer.

But this week, I've taken a break. Even though I feel I'm in the homestretch—that Inspectors Calloway and Hayes have all the pieces of the puzzle and just need to finish fitting them all together—I needed to recharge, to distract myself from the story.

This week, I've focused on videos for my YouTube channel. I put together the video of Saturday's Lock & Paddle event on the Rideau Canal, and I've spent the rest of the week finally putting together the first video of our trip to Peru.

With kayak season in full swing, I've been keeping our travel videos on the back burner. But no more: I plan to have the first video out on Monday, if not sooner.

Next week, I'll be back to working on Dark Water. I'm loving the story and think it might be my best work to date, if I do say so myself.

With any luck, I'll have the first draft of the fully-completed novel finished in early September. And if that happens, it'll be a record time in my novel-writing life.

Stay tuned.

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Size Matters

When I first came up with my detectives for my novel, Dark Water, I wanted them to stand out. From a personality point of view, they're both strong, intelligent, and insightful characters, and the more I write about them, the more I see in them.

I also wanted the characters to contrast one another, physically. I wanted the older, more-experienced detective, Mickey Calloway, to be a towering figure, at two metres tall (more than six-and-a-half feet tall). By contrast, Erin Hayes would be just over five feet, at 154 centimetres.

When I asked ChatGPT to create an image of the detectives, I provided a full description, including their respective heights. It came up with a good first attempt, though the height differences weren't quite right and Hayes looked older than her 28 years were.

So I had ChatGPT try again, stressing Hayes' age but not so much her height. And the vertical difference between my detectives wasn't stark enough, so I tried a third time, noting the importance of getting their height correct.

What the AI took came up with threw me off, because the difference was staggering. So much so, that I deleted the image that it had created, thinking the tool had made a big mistake (it wouldn't be the first time).

In that image, it had looked as though Calloway was standing next to a little kid. The AI must have come up with the wrong proportions, I told myself, and had ChatGPT create Hayes such that the top of her head came up to Calloway's shoulders.

After a bit of tweaking, the created image looked pretty much the way I wanted the detectives to appear. I've shared this image before but here it is, again (I find I'm reusing images in my posts a lot, of late. I hope you don't mind):


But if I wanted to stick to my initial thought of having Calloway two metres tall and Hayes just over a metre and a half, I needed to know what that would really look like. So I turned to HeightComparison.com.

This handy site lets you enter the height of two or more people and will then create a 2-D shadow of that person, based on the sex that you provide. When I entered the numbers for Calloway and Hayes, the outcome was eye-opening.


ChatGPT, it seems, got the height of the detectives correct. Seeing this comparison, it was apparent that I had created a giant and a teenager. It made my characters seem comical.

There is only one reference in the book, so far, that talks about their height difference, but I don't think they have to be extremes. With the differences in height that I had created, almost anyone who would encounter the detectives would want to react in shock or make some sort of comment, and I wouldn't want that. It would become the defining characteristic and be a distraction.

I still want Calloway to be a large, broad, imposing figure, who is two metres tall. When he walks into a room, he commands attention and is, perhaps, feared by some.

But Hayes doesn't need to be so short. I want her to be someone who, when seen for the first time, is not identified as a small person. I want her to be seen as someone who is, while "ridiculously beautiful," according to Calloway, is someone who is regarded as a person of authority.

I've added 16 centimetres to Hayes. For those who still use Imperial measurements, that brings her to roughly 5' 7". To further illustrate, I put my own height into the tool and came up with this comparison:


This new height for Hayes seems more realistic to me and I think will help with how I bring the two detectives together for the first time. I initially made Calloway to be a stereotypical gruff cop who dismisses his new partner straight off. He sees her, thinks her beautiful but tiny. He questions how she'd hold up in a tough situation.

But I never wrote about how Hayes sizes up Calloway (no pun intended) on their introduction to one another. She is simply the rookie inspector who was introduced to Calloway, and I had written from Calloway's perspective only. I'd like to round that scene out and share Hayes' perspective, too.

Once I get the descriptions of my characters sorted, I'll get back to focusing on the actual story. But now that I've seen how my detectives stack up to one another, I truly see how size matters.

Friday, July 4, 2025

Lucky 7

I've been writing for a very long time.

In the fifth grade, I wrote a short story called The Hiccuppy Monster. It was about a monster that had the hiccups and couldn't shake them, and a few friends suggested ways to get rid of them. It took a kid scaring him to end his hiccupping fit.

One friend came up with the idea, another friend drew the illustrations (he was quite talented), and I wrote the story. Our teacher liked it so much that he had me read it to kids in a couple of first-grade classrooms.

In the sixth grade, we had creative writing each week, and my teacher, Bill Townsend, encouraged me to challenge myself. He liked my writing so much that at the end of each week, he'd have me read my work to the rest of the class. He told me that if I chose to be a writer, I'd do well.

Bill Townsend was one of my most influential teachers.

In my late teens, I continued to write short stories. This was at a time that I devoured spy novels by Len Deighton, and when I created Roland Axam. I was inspired by Deighton's Game, Set, and Match trilogy and thought I would write an entire novel for Axam.

My first novel was a spy thiller called The Spy's The Limit. It featured Axam, in Berlin, as an agent with the Canadian Security Intelligence Services. He was assigned to assist his controller, Charles Townsend, who used to work for British MI-5 and who, himself, had been invited to bring a long-time agent back to the west, from the Soviet Union. Townsend had been in charge of the West Berlin portfolio and was the only person the agent trusted.

Axam was to be an observer only, but Townsend had other plans. I won't tell the story because I don't want to spoil any surprises, should I ever revive that story.

I actually turned The Spy's The Limit into a trilogy, taking Axam from Ottawa to Berlin, from Berlin to North Berwick, Scotland, and back home. When I finished the third book, Clear Spies Ahead (the second book was called Spy Will Be Done), I read everything, from cover to cover.

And wasn't happy.

I felt the story was too simple and not believable. I decided to shelve the trilogy and maybe revisited it after I had more writing experience under my belt. But I had completed three novels.

Sadly, in the moving that DW and I have done over the years, I've lost the manuscripts. I was upset but figured that perhaps I wasn't meant to be a spy novelist.

I moved on to another novel soon after. It was about teenage suicide. JT was about a teen, Joseph Thomas Smyth, in his final year of high school, and deals with the pressures that face youths. Written from the viewpoint of JT, it follows his last two weeks of life.

This novel, I thought I could get published, so I sent it to several publishing houses. Every one of them rejected the story with a lovely form letter that essentially told me to fuck off. But one of those letters was covered in hand writing around the margin, apparently by the person who actually read JT.

The person said that she actually enjoyed reading my manuscript, felt the main character compelling, and was touched by the emotion the book set. And while her company wasn't interested in this type of story, she encouraged me to keep writing.

Four books written: zero published.

The next novel that I wrote was started in 2001, after DW and I had returned from South Korea, where we taught for two years, and after we bought our first house and started a family. The book was based on our experiences in Korea but as seen through my eyes.

I should note here that all of my short stories and all of my novels were written in first-person prose. Though my sixth-grade teacher never encouraged this writing point of view, it was something that interested me.

Also, none of my books have happy endings. I just don't like them. Sorry.

It took me more than 10 years and three iterations to complete my fourth novel. I eventually brought Roland Axam into it, as the main character, complete with a sad backstory, and made him the person who experienced the things that I had while living in Korea.

Plus some fiction, for good measure.

That book did get published, although it's self-published. It's Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary.

Five books written: one published.

When I wrote Songsaengnim, I initially planned to write it to cover the span of my two years in Korea. But as the story progressed, I realized that the book was getting long, so I decided to split it into two stories: one, the first year of Roland in Korea, with his backstory as a second arc; the second story would follow Roland in his second year, where he teaches at a university.

I also decided to add parts of The Spy's The Limit—or at least what I could remember of the lost manuscript—as a secondary arc. There are actually three arcs in Gyeosunim, the sequel.

I got about two-thirds through writing Gyeosunim before I lost interest. It took 10 years to finish Songsaengnim and I didn't want to take another 10 years to write the sequel. I was bored of the characters in the main arc and needed to do something different, so I shelved my work.

For now.

Five-and-two-thirds books written. Let's say six.

My seventh book is Dark Water and is my first murder mystery, which is a departure from my other books. It's my first book that is not written in first-person prose (it's in third-person) and it's one of the few books that doesn't feature Roland Axam (JT is the only other novel that is Roland-free).

I have friends who think I'm a novice writer. Heck, I have friends who sometimes forget that I'm a writer (even though I worked for 25 years, writing documentation for various companies). I do lack confidence in my writing ability but I look back to my fifth-grade teacher, who liked The Hiccuppy Monster so much that he had me read it to younger kids (and I think he kept the only copy of that story), to Mr. Townsend, who encouraged me to write, and to that unnamed reader at a publishing company, who told me not to stop.

I'm having a lot of fun writing Dark Water and think it is probably my best work yet. Maybe, it'll be my Lucky 7.

Happy Friday!

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

Visualizing Characters

Midge Ure in 1985.

When I created Roland Axam, more than 40 years ago, I had a clear picture of how I wanted him to look. My favourite band at the time was UK new-wave band Ultravox. Around that time, front man Midge Ure had started releasing solo albums, and the cover for his first one, The Gift, featured Ure in a black-and-white, slightly noir head shot.

Roland Axam, in my mind, didn't look exactly like Ure but close enough to win a look-alike contest. Roland had a more-defined jawline and eyes that always looked half-closed, like he was either in deep thought or was sizing you up.

If you ever looked at Roland, you would never know what he was thinking. And that was perfect for the short stories and trilogy that I wrote, in the late 80s, where Axam was a spy.

Me, in 1998.

By the time I wrote Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary, Roland looked like a cross between Midge Ure and myself, especially how I looked at the end of my first year whilst living in South Korea. I often visualized Ure, on the cover of The Gift, and a photo of me in a Seoul market, and I mashed them up in my head to create an image, but that image was never clear to me.

When I write about other characters, however, I don't always see a face.

When I started writing Dark Water, a few months ago, I didn't have images for most of the characters. When I created the victim that is discovered in the Rideau River, I just imagined a woman in her late 20s or early 30s, with long, red hair.

Once she was extracted from the water, I kept picturing one face as I wrote about her. And I'm a bit disturbed to have my image be that of Ottawa journalist, Rachel Gilmore.

I say 'disturbed' because while she fits the profile of my victim, I would never want to see any harm come to Gilmore. She's great at her job and I enjoy following her on Bluesky and YouTube.

So far, I've been unable to clearly visualize my two inspectors, Mickey Calloway and Erin Hayes. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, when I asked ChatGPT to create a book cover that included these characters, I purposely requested that the detectives faced away.

The AI tool was actually pretty good at visualizing my description of the detective duo.

But this week, as I was reading through my rough manuscript, trying to flesh out the characters more, I still couldn't give Calloway or Hayes a face. So I finally asked ChatGPT to do it.

Image: ChatGPT

The first attempt was pretty good and I liked the face that was given to Calloway. I think he could be 'drawn' taller and more imposing (he's a solid 2 metres and broad-shouldered).

And while the image of Hayes is good, I think she appears in the image older than she is in the book. She's supposed to be 28 and, as Calloway put it, is "ridiculously beautiful." I mean, the woman in the ChatGPT image is pretty but not ridiculously so, IMHO.

I then asked the tool to make her prettier and younger, reminding ChatGPT that she's supposed to look 28. I think the woman in the first image looks mid-30s.

Here's what it gave me in its second attempt:

Image: ChatGPT

Closer. I prefer the Calloway rendering in the first image but Hayes looks closer to her age this time.

As I've written her, Inspector Hayes is half a metre shorter than Calloway. In the image that I had ChatGPT create where the detectives are faced away, I asked it to change the image so that she was 75 percent shorter than Calloway, and the tool gave her the legs of a child but kept the proportions above her legs the same.

Talk about ridiculous. Obviously, I didn't keep that image.

I'm not going to mess with the characters' height in this image. It's not important. I just wanted to create some faces to give me a better visualization for when I write the story, and I think these images help accomplish this objective.

Unlike how ChatGPT visualized Roland Axam when it merged our photos.

Happy Tuesday!

ChatGPT's first interpretation of a merge of me and Midge Ure, as Roland Axam. Hmm...

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

Plot Twists

One of the great things about being a writer is that you think you have a story all figured out in your head (or jotted down in notes and storyboards) but then the story takes you for a surprise turn and you end up following it, rather than leading the narrative, yourself.

That's exactly what happened to me, last week, as I was working on my crime novel, Dark Water.

Image: ChatGPT
Now, I have to be careful, here, as I can't tip my hand and spoil anything. I'll have to write this post in general terms and not leave any clues about who dunnit.

Before I even wrote the prologue, I had a murder victim. I knew who the killer was and why that person committed the crime. I had suspects, I had timelines, I had primary and secondary characters.

And I knew how the story will end.

All I had to do, in writing the story, was to fill in the gaps by providing detail to the outline I had devised. As I said in a previous post, I needed to put meat on the bones.

By the time I hit my first 100 pages, I had a good storyline, with one suspect in custody but with the true story unfinished. There was still a lot to go, but I was on the right track.

One of the fears in writing the story was that I thought I was going a bit too fast. I was worried that my novel was becoming a novella. Not that there is anything wrong with that. If it's a good story, what does it matter how long it is.

As I said, I had the story mapped out, with the timeline for the crime and the direction the detectives would take in solving it. But as I wrote from the detectives' point of view (yes, there are two lead inspectors—if you didn't know that, I've already mentioned this fact in a brief synopsis), I tried hard to put myself in their heads, without the knowledge of my notes and storyboard.

And, as would be expected, Inspectors Calloway and Hayes have different thoughts, different ideas for what went down on the night that a woman ended up dead in the Rideau River (again, this is not breaking news).

In their investigation, the two detectives follow various lines of inquiry and meet all sorts of characters, many who I just make up as I go along. And with each new character, I come up with a name and add it to my spreadsheet that holds all of the characters and their role in the story, no matter how small. I do this because I never know if I'll have to circle back to the person, and it's good to have a list of names so I don't have to dig unnecessarily through the body of content to find them again.

Last week, my character list came in particularly handy.

(Again, I have to be careful about what I might give away. If you are interested in reading my book, when it's eventually released, you might want to skip the rest of this post. I'll see you tomorrow.)

There are a lot of throwaway characters, so far. Some names that came up because I simply needed a name. In other instances, the detectives needed to talk to someone and I needed to give that someone some substance, no matter how small.

And they needed a name.

But I've just hit a point in Dark Water where I've realized that I've needed to loop back, and I'm now writing something that I didn't expect to write. I didn't expect the story to go in this direction.

It's exciting for me. I feel as though I'm discovering something new, another layer that needs bringing into the light. I need to keep digging.

To quote from Inspector Calloway, "Some stories are buried too deep to stay hidden." (I had written this line before taking a break and going on vacation but recently found a good place to add it, and it was just as the story was taking this new direction.)

When I wrote Songsaengnim: A Korea Diary, I was faced with a similar twist. The main part of the story was simple because the book was largely based on my own experiences while living in South Korea from 1997 to 1999. That part of the story is almost autobiographical.

But the main character, Roland Axam, was purely fictional and his past was completely made up. I knew why Roland went to Korea but as his past came to light, I was treading down an unknown path, and there were times where I surprised myself.

It's not quite the same way with Dark Water. All of it is fiction. And as I focus on the two detectives, especially Mickey Calloway, I'm finding myself discovering that the meat that I'm putting on the bones of the outline can be unexpected cuts

It's all so exciting.

I'm moving at a slower pace than I had been going for the first 100 pages but I don't mind. The plot twist has me in unfamiliar territory, making the dark waters of my imagination as thrilling for me as I hope they'll be for you.

Monday, June 2, 2025

Momentum

In the days that led up to my family's departure for Peru, I didn't do much writing on my novel, Dark Water. I had surpassed the hundred-page mark, congratulated myself on a great achievement, and then promptly stalled.

I had reached the start of a new chapter but I wasn't sure how I wanted to start it. I felt that I was blindly going forward with the investigation part of the story at a very fast pace and wanted to slow down, but wasn't sure how to do that.

So, I started reading what I had written so far, to see if there was something that I could take out of the first 100 pages and possibly put further in. I made notes and changes to the timeline that I've sketched out in a spreadsheet, and told myself that when I returned from vacation, I'd be ready to take up where I had left off.

While in Peru, I kept a notepad with me, and little ideas would pop up for which I'd jot down. There were some changes that I'd have to make to the story when I returned home and I had other ideas that would pop up in what I had already written.

During the first week that I was home, I set my novel aside, focusing on getting the images that I had captured on my camera edited and filed away. If you are a regular follower of my blog, you've seen many of my photos.

Last week, I turned my attention to Dark Water, applying the notes I had made in Peru and pulling some parts of the investigation out, placing them in a separate file that I can pull from later. I went to Chapter 8, which is where I had stalled, and looked at the page.

There was a heading at the top of the page that read "Thursday." It's the seventh day since the body of a woman was found in the Rideau River, near the Vimy Memorial Bridge. Below the heading is "Calloway," the lead inspector.

And below that, I wrote, "Some stories are buried too deep to stay hidden." Whatever the hell that means.

I was still drawing blanks, so I decided to go back to the beginning, to read the story yet again. As I read, other ideas came to me and I added them to the story. There were things that I thought an investigator should follow but hadn't come up with them before. They're there now.

It took me most of last week to re-read and build on what had taken me nearly five weeks to write, and as I approached Chapter 7, I felt I had an idea of where I wanted to go with Chapter 8.

Writing that chapter starts today.

I'm encouraged by what I've written so far. While I was on vacation, I read a murder mystery from another local author. The story was set in the Ottawa area and I chose this book because I thought it might inspire me for when I returned from my trip.

It didn't. It was, in my opinion, awful. I found relationships with the characters confusing and awkward. I found the story of the murder investigation trite and, at times, unbelievable. Several times, while reading the book, I wanted to put it down and walk away but I kept telling myself that this author has written dozens of books: that this book was actually short-listed for an award.

The story had to get better.

It didn't. I finished the book, feeling disappointed*. While it didn't inspire me, it made me think that my own story was on the right track, that it was a compelling read.

Over the weekend, I asked DW if I could share what I've written so far, to get her take on Dark Water. She's one of my biggest critics and she's a fan of murder mysteries, so hopefully she can provide some helpful feedback.

Meanwhile, the story continues. I'm hoping that I can maintain the 20-pages-per-week pace that I had before I stalled on Chapter 8.

Wish me luck.


* I finished that book while DW and I were flying from Lima to Atlanta, Georgia. I did not take the book with me when we departed the plane.


Friday, May 9, 2025

Friday Fiction: The First Chapter

Image: ChatGPT
I said I wouldn't share any of Dark Water on my blog. I lied.

Last week, before heading on vacation, I re-read what I had already written of my murder mystery, with the hope of feeling inspired enough to break through my writer's block, or at the very least, see if the story was any good.

I've already provided a synopsis of the story—something that I could see on the inside jacket that hooks a reader. But I didn't want to start posting the actual content of the novel, as it's a who-dunnit and I don't want to spoil it for anyone who will hopefully want to buy the book when I eventually get it published.

However, the first chapter only sets up the mystery. And most of it is isolated from the rest of the story.

When I first started thinking about trying my hand at crime fiction, I started with a body being discovered in the Rideau River. I wanted the story to be set in Ottawa, to make this a true Canadian murder mystery.

I decided that kayakers would discover the body and I based those characters closely on DW and myself. For anybody who knows us or has followed this blog, you'll be able to easily see us.

Write what you know, as they say.

So here's my rough draft of Chapter 1 of Dark Water. Enjoy. And this will absolutely be the only part of the story that I'll be sharing.


Friday

The first perfect day in nearly two weeks. The water surface of the Rideau River was calm, though the river’s current, below, was not. The heavy rains that welcomed April had added to the already heavy melt of March snow and the runoff raised water levels and increased the flow of this waterway. Though the canal system, which extended from the Ottawa River and made its way down to Kingston and the eastern end of Lake Ontario, was not yet ready for larger boats, it was certainly set for kayaks.

And Lynne and Greg Simpson were itching to get their new kayaks into the water.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, kayaks had been their lifeline. After a month of being limited to their home, with minimal contact to the outside world, Lynne and Greg were going stir crazy. They went for walks around the neighbourhood, to get fresh air and exercise, and they would have one or two friends join them, keeping the socially accepted two-metre distance, but they needed more activity.

Lynne had recently come into some inheritance money, after her father had passed away, and she made the decision to purchase kayaks. She and Greg had considered acquiring some, years earlier, had even test-paddled several makes and models on a pond to the south of the Carp airport, which was just west of Ottawa. The test paddling had been provided by an outdoors store, which had several steel freight containers that had been converted into canoe and kayak storage lockers. But the Simpsons never committed, having preferred travelling to extravagant expenses on water craft that they weren’t sure that they’d get full use of.

And so, kayaks were allocated to the back burner.

One morning, in April of 2020, however, Lynne had made an executive decision while she and her husband were still in bed. “We’re getting kayaks,” she declared, as Greg slowly awoke. Lynne was always the first to open her eyes and she patiently waited for her husband while browsing on her iPad.

“Oh, aye?” said Greg, his Scottish tongue sang. “Just like that?”

“I’ve been looking online. We both liked the touring kayaks that we tested before.”

“Sure, but that was years ago.”

“Yeah, and what’s changed? Look here,” she urged, holding up her tablet with a page from Frontenac Outfitters, an outdoor-adventure store that was located north of Kingston. “These are Delta kayaks, made in British Columbia. Highly rated.”

Greg perused the stats, looked at the images on the screen.

“Fifteen-hundred dollars apiece!” Greg let out a low whistle.

“Worth it,” said Lynne. “I need to get out. Walking isn’t enough.”

“It’s almost cycling season.”

“Cycling isn’t enough. And besides, you’re a lone wolf. You like going on long rides on your own. We would kayak together.”

It was true. Greg would often get on his road bike with only a vague idea of where he wanted to go. Maybe, just to Manotick and back. The small village, less than 10 kilometres south from their Barrhaven home, was a popular route for trips that were shorter than an hour. There were bakeries and coffee shops, where he’d stop for a treat before returning home.

But more often than not, Greg would reach Manotick and keep going. Sometimes, he would head east, to Greely, and then turn south, to Osgoode, before heading west, to North Gower, and then north again, toward home. If he was feeling particularly energetic, he’d head all the way to Kemptville, or even Merrickville, before turning back.

One thing was for certain: Greg liked to cycle solo. He wanted to keep his own pace, wanted to slip on his Bluetooth headphones and play his music–not too loud to drown out vehicles that approached him from behind, but loud enough to make any conversation impossible.

It was Lynne who called him the ‘lone wolf,’ but she was right. For his rides, Greg wanted no company.

“Look,” Lynne said, pointing out two of the Delta kayaks. One was 12 feet in length; the other, another 10 inches longer. “They only have one 12-foot kayak left in stock. I would want that one.”

“It’s yellow,” said Greg. “You’re fine with the colour?”

“It’s a nice yellow. They call it ‘Saffron.’”

Greg eyed the longer craft. “They have two of these left in stock.”

“And look, one of them is also saffron. We could have matching kayaks.”

“I prefer the red one,” said Greg. “You know that’s my favourite colour.”

“It says here that they’ll deliver them for twenty dollars.”

“Doesn’t seem like that would even cover the cost of gas.”

The kayaks arrived a week later. While they waited, the Simpsons watched paddling techniques on YouTube. They went through a checklist of equipment they’d need: a rooftop carrier for the car; paddles; throw lines; a bilge pump for expelling excess water that could get into the cockpit; and covers for the cockpits.

Masked up and adhering to social-distancing rules, the couple went into a local sporting-goods store, made sure that they had everything they needed for when the kayaks arrived and the weather allowed for them to get on the water.

Lynne was right. Being on the water was liberating. Paddling on local lakes and rivers was their zen. They packed cameras and binoculars, became novice birders, spying all sorts of avian wildlife, listening to the myriad songs along the waterways.

A phone app listened and identified the birds.

For years, Lynne and Greg looked forward to kayaking season. They’d pack the storage compartments with camping gear and paddle to the interior of provincial parks. It renewed and strengthened their love of the outdoors, allowed them to forget about the hectic, fast-paced life of weekdays.

They challenged themselves, paddling on the busy and sometimes swift current of the St. Lawrence Seaway, exploring the Thousand Islands. They paddled large lakes, sometimes battling strong winds that produced white caps on the water. And while their Delta kayaks handled these challenges fairly well, the Simpsons eventually determined that they needed more than their crafts could deliver.

“We need 14-foot boats,” Lynne declared at the end of the previous season. “We also need either a skeg or a rudder.” As with their earlier purchase, Lynne was prepared, showing Frontenac Outfitters’ Web site once again. “They’re taking pre-orders for next year’s models, offering the same price as this year.”

“I’d like to actually try one before I commit,” said Greg, but already, he knew that they needed longer kayaks. They had dreams of paddling the fjord of the Saguenay River, northeast of Québec City. The prospect of moving along the waterway, sharing space with beluga whales, was a huge draw, and their kayaks could benefit from the control of a rudder. Greg didn’t like the idea of a skeg–a fin that could pop out from a slit along the keel. They had friends with kayaks that used skegs, and a couple of times, a pebble or mud from the shore would get in the recess, and would prevent the skeg from dropping all the way, or worse: not coming down at all. With a rudder, pedals inside the cockpit would allow the kayak to compensate, should wind try to push the stern sideways. “And I suppose it would be fine to pre-order. That way, there’s no risk of them running out.”

In 2020, when their kayaks were delivered, the Simpsons learned that they had taken the last kayaks, that other shoppers had the same idea of getting on the water to beat the confinement of the pandemic, and that the demand outweighed the supply. “Delta says they have no idea when they’ll have more stock. They’re in shutdown mode, too,” said the Frontenac rep who delivered the Simpson’s kayaks.

A decision was made to take the long drive on the Thanksgiving long weekend. The shop was located on the edge of Frontenac Provincial Park and backed onto Pearkes Lake. Lynne tried both the skeg and rudder models, whereas Greg was only keen on the rudder version.

The sales representative was helpful, setting a kayak on grass and letting Greg and Lynne try sitting in it, getting the overall feel. She then sent the couple down a path toward Pearkes Lake, telling them that she’ll follow, with two models in a pickup truck. The Simpsons had brought their own life vests and paddles so that they would be set up with familiar equipment. Once set in the water–Greg in a ruddered Delta and Lynne in the boat with the skeg–the salesperson let them putter at leisure, letting the two know that she’d be back at the shop for when they were finished testing.

“Just leave the kayaks on the grass near the dock,” she said as she turned away.

Back at the shop, Greg said, “We’ll take two, with rudders.” Lynne was comfortable in both models but didn’t care for the cord mechanism of the boat with the skeg. Also, the recess in the aft storage compartment might mean that she’d have to strategically place any camping gear that she’d want to carry there.

*

Nearly six months later, the Simpsons made the return trip to Frontenac Outfitters to collect their new kayaks. The shop would not be delivering them, this time. The pandemic was all but over and the cheap delivery fee was a one-time incentive.

It was a new season, new crafts, new colours. Lynne had decided on a bright green that Delta called ‘Lime’: Greg, Azure Blue. And now, with ice-out conditions, the two were eager to take their boats on a maiden trip.

They wanted to stay close to home. This would just be a test run to reacquaint themselves with paddling techniques and to become comfortable in the new configuration. They took the short drive to the Chapman Mills Conservation area, some 10 minutes away from their Barrhaven home.

Driving along Fallowfield Road, their eyes couldn’t help but turn to the farmer’s field. It hadn’t even been a week since that airplane had crashed, and investigators were still on site. The tragedy was all that occupied local news outlets, and while the reporters and cameras were no longer preoccupied by the crash site, there were still some curious spectators who would pull onto the shoulder of the surrounding roads to observe and say a little prayer for the victims.

“Those poor, poor people,” said Lynne, in a near-whisper and almost to herself, as Greg drove past.

“At least the rain has stopped and given the field a chance to absorb some of the water,” said Greg. “It’ll help the investigators examine all the pieces. They’ll be moving them to a Transport Canada facility soon, I imagine.”

“At least they’ve recovered the flight data and cockpit recordings,” added Lynne. “Something must have gone wrong with the plane.”

“Aye, true.”

Though it was too early for the Chapman Mills Conservation Area to have its dock deployed out into the Rideau River, there was a gentle slope nearby where the Simpsons could step into the water. Neither Lynne nor Greg relished doing so, as it was still only late April and the water was ice-cold. With a late melt of snow and the heavy rains of the previous weeks, the river was higher than usual and the current was more noticeable. Not enough for the Simpsons to be concerned; in fact, it gave them a good opportunity to test the rudders on the vessels. And though the current could be detected, it wasn’t particularly swift. Just enough to slow the kayaks, should Greg and Lynne be moving upstream and stop paddling.

The plan for this short outing was to head upstream, past the Vimy Memorial Bridge, which linked Barrhaven to Riverside South, and reach the Long Island lockstation, on the northern end of Manotick, before heading back. It was only a few kilometres, each way, but it would give them a satisfying taste of the new boats. They also expected the Rideau to get a bit turbulent as they reached the smaller Jock River, near the basin of the locks. Every year, the runoff at the intersection was strong, and this spring was going to be even more swift, with the added rains.

The air was crisp at this time of morning but the sun was doing its best to change that. Wisps of fog rose from the water but quickly dissipated as the sunlight touched it. Because the trees were bare, the footpath for the conservation area was clearly visible. The National Capital Commission, which saw to the care of the trail, had finished their renovations the previous fall, finally completing a wooden bridge that linked the trail to an outcrop of ground that extended into the river like a tongue. Across the Rideau, the children’s play area of Claudette Cain Park stood on higher ground. And more than a half-kilometre away, the three white metal arches of the Vimy Memorial Bridge seemed even brighter with the sun lighting them up.

Already, the rudders came into use. Though Lynne and Greg figured that they wouldn’t need them 99 percent of the time, the current in the middle of the river was just strong enough to try to turn the stern the wrong way.

“I’m loving the rudder already,” said Lynne, as she pulled the lever and flipped the rudder into the water, using the pedals to make a slight correction.

“I’m glad we had the forethought to unhook the rudders before we set out,” added Greg.

“I’m still mentally adjusting to looking ahead and seeing green, instead of yellow.”

“Don’t you mean saffron?”

“How do you like the blue of yours?” laughed Lynne.

“It seems brighter than the red. I’m glad I’m wearing sunglasses.” Indeed, facing toward the rising sun was making him squint, even with shades over his eyes.

A suction cup was attached to the cover of the kayak’s day pod, a small, circular hatch for a compartment where Greg usually stored snacks for a day’s paddle and other things that he felt he would need to access quickly. The suction cup housed an attachment for a GoPro mount, but Greg had a 360-degree video camera attached, instead. Over the years, Greg had wanted to capture aspects of their paddles, to make videos that they could watch and enjoy later. He had considered creating his own kayaking YouTube channel but had never found the confidence to share the videos with the general public. When the Simpsons kayaked with their paddling friends, who he dubbed Paddlefolk, they would gather after Greg had compiled his video footage and relive the experience.

As soon as he was comfortable in the kayak and ready to paddle in earnest, Greg pressed the record button on the camera. “Hey, folks, it’s the Simpsons… .” He paused, mentally thinking of the opening theme to the similarly named, long-running cartoon. Every video that Greg had created included a clip of the opening notes of The Simpsons, with the title emerging from clouds, and as soon as the title was sung, the clip would end and the video would resume with Greg. “No, not those Simpsons, it’s Lynne and Greg. It’s a new season of paddling and we’re on our maiden voyage in our new Delta kayaks. We’re just taking a short outing, on the Rideau River, starting at Chapman Mills Conservation Area and ending at the base of the Long Island Locks. We’ll be paddling under the Vimy Memorial Bridge and checking out the tail end of the Jock River, which should be racing into the Rideau. We can’t wait!”

He pressed the button on the camera again, ending the recording. He would resume recording as they approached the bridge or if anything else caught his attention along the way. The greatest advantage of a 360-degree camera was that Greg didn’t have to point it towards his subject. With two extra-wide lenses mounted on opposite sides of the housing, the camera caught literally everything. The camera captured two files and the processing software would seamlessly stitch the footage together during editing. Greg could focus the view wherever he wanted, later. This, he felt, gave him the freedom to push one button and forget about the camera, let him just concentrate on paddling, and enjoy the scenery around him.

The mist on the water was lighter in the shade of the approaching bridge, and Greg pressed the button to resume recording. He didn’t provide any narrative but simply let the camera take everything in. After a few more seconds, he stopped recording. He had learned over the years that several short clips were more pleasing to the eye than one long clip that didn’t forward the story.

“Look over there,” Lynne called out, pointing toward the eastern side of the river, about 50 metres downstream, between the Simpsons and the bridge. “Is that a beaver?”

Greg followed Lynne’s line from her finger and saw a small shadow raised above the water line. The sunlight made a silhouette that provided little detail from the distance that the kayakers were from the object.

“It’s possible,” said Greg, “but it’s not moving very fast. Whatever it is, it’s floating, not swimming.” He pressed the record button again and started paddling toward whatever was moving downstream.

Greg was sceptical of anything that he couldn’t clearly identify from his kayak. In their first season, while paddling along the Tay River, near the Eastern Ontario town of Perth, Greg thought he saw a beaver near some lily pads and bullrushes, but as he approached it, he discovered that it was simply the stumpy end of a log that was sticking above the surface. And though this object on the Rideau was moving, he still had his doubts.

He turned his attention to the lens of his camera that was facing him. “Lynne has spotted something up ahead, just visible above the river’s surface. Is it some creature? Let’s find out.” In his mind the video footage would then point past the bow, which was on a direct course toward the shadowy object.

As he drew closer, he saw dark fur. It was definitely the head of a creature, but seemed slightly large for a beaver. There was also something trailing behind. Was it a dead animal? Each stroke of his paddle brought Greg closer and more detail was showing itself. It was a creature, he was sure of it. But with no motion beyond what the river was providing, he was sure that it was dead.

Trailing behind the head–he was sure it was a head–Greg saw non-organic material. Some sort of fabric, he was sure of it. It was dark but he expected that almost any water-soaked material would be darkened. Was it a jacket? Greg was now within 10 metres of the creature when he realized that the fur was hair. Long hair. Just below the water’s surface, Greg could make out arms, outstretched, legs trailing behind.

“Lynney,” Greg called behind him, his voice quivering, the power and confidence it had almost always carried, faltering, “stay back. Grab your phone. Call 9-1-1.” He let the camera continue to record, though he knew this would not be a video that he would be watching later, in the comfort of his home.